Strong love is give and take.

When you have strong love in your relationship. You understand the balance of give and take. You know that for every thing you take you must replace an item into your relationship. For example if you need time to yourself you need to put that time back into your relationship later by doing something special for your partner. Say for example that your partner takes the kids out to play because you are feeling stressed with the noise in the house, later you need to repay this kindness to your partner with something they would truly enjoy. Maybe it could be a back rub or an intimate evening saying thank you. This balance is important in your relationship as well as your life. Keeping this balance will keep your relationship healthy and strong for your entire lifetime.

Did you say thanks?

One of the things in a relationship that is forgot most often is the simple thank you. We grow use to our partner doing the things they do that we forget that they are doing them for us. Things like taking care of the children so we can get things done or changing the sheets on the bed. Once we start feeling like they should do these things because the always do, that is when we need to take a step back. Look at what your partner does, how they go the extra mile for us and if we aren't thanking them for it, are we truly being fair to them. Love is the special thing and when you love someone you don't do if for praise or appreciation, however without us seeing what they do for us it might just go away. I hear so many women say that sex becomes a chore in their relationship, but what about the chores does your mate complete tasks day in and day out? Do you think they enjoy doing the dishes or taking out the garbage for fun. They are doing it for your relationship, they are putting in their part to make your relationship flow as good as possible. Think about that next time you get upset because something wasn't done and try to remember when the last time you thanked your partner for doing whatever it is they do. I bet you don't do it nearly as much as you should.

Being Selfish

Is there a time to be selfish in a relationship? Of coarse there is we all need to have and want our needs and desires met. However how do we accommodate this type of thinking when we want to attend to our partners needs also? Well it is a give and take process you have to feel when it is all right for you take and know when it is time for you to give. How in the heck do you know when those times are? Believe me you will know your body will tell you when you need things and your mind won't let you forget about them. As for you partner all you have to do is love them and you will feel their needs and desires also. It is not an exact science but neither is life itself. The learning process goes on for ever and understanding that you will constantly be given new and fresh challenges in your relationship is a calming notion that when you come to grips with all things sort of fall into place. So be a little selfish when it is your turn and be ready to let your partner be selfish at time just make sure it is a 50-50 split to get the best results.

Like the old song "You can always get what you wanted, but you get what you need"

In a romantic relationship you have to be able to give and take. Sometimes it doesn't work out in your favor. That is when you have to step back and look at what you really need in a relationship. Pick and choose the things that are important to you and communicate that with your partner. Once they understand the way your desires and wants work you might find it a little easier to give up those things that don't mean that much to you. Say for instance, shopping with the girls, or poker night with the guys, which are all great activities but when you get into a relationship you might not be able to do them as much as you like. Like the Rolling Stones sang "You can't always get what you want, but you get what you need" So take stock in the things you need and understand the things you want will be there when they can be.

Give and Take!

Everyone knows that romance is a give and take situation. The problems come in when the balance begins to get lopsided. One partner is doing more giving and the other is doing more taking. We all want to enjoy the romantic efforts of our partner it feels great. However, there are wonderful feelings in doing things for them as well. Think about how you feel when your partner does something romantic for you? Shouldn't they get the same feeling returned to them? If this is not your train of thought then you need to start retraining yourself. Unmatched romance soon becomes a chore to the person being romantic. They will start to loose interest and start thinking things like "Why, should I do this it won't be appreciated?" Think about how your react to your partner do you expect them to be the one that buys flowers all the time, or sets up wonderful evenings for the two of you. If your not pulling your weight in your relationship then it is your partner that is suffering not you. Now if you love your partner and want them to be happy there is no time like the present to take action. Return all their romantic notions with ones of your own. Make it a challenge to yourself to return every serve they make and soon you might just find the wonderful joy you will have in yourself and how thankful you are that your partner loves you.

Being sexual without having sex.

I have heard it way to many times from couples. One partner is never in the mood as much as the other. With this problem we have to look a little deeper into our sexual being. You have to broaden your horizon on what constitutes sex. The partner that is desiring sex, shouldn't be left out in the cold just because the other partner doesn't have any desire on this day. The two of you need to work out some arrangements to meet both partners needs without either one of them feeling neglected or forced into anything. There are several forms of sex that one can perform on another without the actual sex happening between the two. Oral sex, hand jobs, and several other ways to get the person that desires the sex off is a great alternative. Masturbation is another get way to share without both of you having to participate fully. Let the partner who is urning for sex masturbate while the other partner watches and touches them. Make comments how how sexy it is and encourage them to talk also. The partner that is not in the mood might just change their mind as the event of masturbation is occurring. The in this point is to respect the other persons right to their feelings. Just because you are not in the mood doesn't mean that they have to not be in the mood also. With a little give and take you will soon find a happy place that makes both of you feel like your relationship is sexy and strong.

Make dinner, conversation time.

When we go out to eat or even eat a home for that matter, we are setting up a great time to discuss and learn about each other. Even if you have been married or dating for years there is always something you can learn from great conversation. Find topics that you can discuss that will have both of your offering your opinions. Don't be only a listener, engage in the conversation and get your ideas heard. Find out about things going on in your partners life they you might not hear about other wise. Things like work, or happenings in their life that you are not apart of. Make it a game and ask questions of each other, take turns and make the other person answer each of your questions. A good night of conversation is actually foreplay and with your minds stimulated your bodies are soon to follow.

Warm her up to get the most out of your sexual relationship.

Men we have a hard time understanding that we need to warm up a woman to get her in the mood for some loving that will last all night. We are simple creatures, as soon as we feel the urge we are ready, we have no warm up phase. Woman however need to be gently guided towards that feeling that just happens in us. We have to take our time and get the mood just right, which is hard for us because we are ready to pounce right now. Gentlemen let me put it to your this way the warming up is a way to make the love making last longer, by slowing down a bit the activities will last longer into the night. The more time you take the better she will be a receiving your advances. We all here the jokes about how quick men are and that their partners wish they could last longer, well let me tell you the sexual stamina isn't what will get it for you. The foreplay and the building of excitement will get your female companion to the point she need to be at. Don't be embarrassed if you need help in this matter, there are several books out on the subject of foreplay that can help you. The main thing is not to rush. Most of us are so excited when we get to engage in these activities that we dive right in, but believe me that is the worst thing you can do. Take your time, that feeling isn't going to go away especially if you push all the right buttons. Now go out and get your love making in shape and take your time.

Figure out Likes and Dislikes

One thing that is very important to a relationship, is getting to know each other. Start today, if you haven't already, a mental list of your partners likes and dislikes. When you got to a restaurant pay attention to what type of entree they order. Is it chicken, beef, pork, or vegetarian. Knowing their preference scores big points in the romance department. This doesn't just apply to food. Get to know their likes and dislikes in everything. Which team is their favorite, what type of alcohol do they like, what brand of clothes do they prefer, the list goes on and on. Now the only thing you need to understand is these preferences can change over time. For example, you partner might enjoy beef at one point in their life, then switch to being a vegetarian during another point. If you serve them beef after they become a vegetarian you might get a raised eyebrow.

One word of caution, if you have something you really enjoy don't assume that they will enjoy it as much as you.  You cannot make someone have the same passion for what you enjoy.  For example I enjoy going to baseball games and while my wife enjoys it also she doesn't have the same passion for it I do.  She will tolerate it but doesn't have to be there.  She could find many other things she would enjoy doing herself.  Once you figure out some of you partners likes and dislikes you now are faced with the challenge of making sure you both get to enjoy things you like.  As long as you share these feelings you will have no problems.  Just like anything in a relationship it is give and take.  I like to say it is sharing, that sounds a lot better.

Special Thanks to MarkPritchard for the photo from creative commons flickr

Romance Game

Here is a simple game of romance. Take turns telling each other what you feel is romantic. Be it places to go, or just things to do together. Start out slow maybe saying "I think the most romantic place in the world is...." Then the next person says their feelings on the subject. Elaborate on each output and tell why you thing it would be romantic. This is a great way to get to know your partner better. You would think you would only have to play this game once. Well I am here to tell you, that you should make a point to play it at least a couple of times a year. People change and as we get older so do our needs and wants. So at 18 I might think making love on the beach would be the best thing ever. Now that I am old I think about the sand and where it would end up. Nothing is set in stone, make notes but use a pencil as the changes happen.