How Often Are Couples Getting It On?
A Lighthearted Look at Love Through the Relationship Timeline
Let’s talk about something we all think about but rarely discuss with actual numbers—how often couples make love through the different stages of their relationship. Spoiler alert: It’s not always like the honeymoon scene from a romantic comedy (unless that rom-com is sponsored by Ben & Jerry’s and elastic waistbands).
Now, before we dive in, remember: There’s no “perfect” number. Some couples get frisky like clockwork. Others prefer quality over quantity. And for some, an uninterrupted nap is the new foreplay. This isn’t about shame—it's about curiosity and maybe a few giggles.
So grab your partner (or at least your favorite snack), and let’s explore the average rhythms of romance through the stages of a relationship.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Phase (0–2 Years)
Also known as: "Can’t Keep Their Hands Off Each Other"
This is when you’re still discovering each other's quirks, favorite positions, and whether or not your partner snores. The hormones are on a rave-level party schedule, and you might be making love 3 to 5 times a week—or more if you both work from home and have strong coffee habits.
Even bad weather becomes an excuse to stay in bed longer. Clothes are optional. Chores are forgotten. DoorDash becomes your third roommate.
Stage 2: The “We Live Together Now” Phase (2–5 Years)
Also known as: "I Love You, But You Left Your Socks on the Couch Again"
Reality starts to set in. You’re splitting bills, arguing about what temperature to set the thermostat on, and discovering that even your soulmate has weird bathroom habits.
Intimacy is still important, but it might settle into a rhythm of 1 to 3 times a week—depending on work stress, how many streaming services you subscribe to, and whether or not you both remembered to do laundry.
Still romantic. Slightly more scheduled. And yes, sometimes initiated with “Want to...you know?”
Stage 3: Married or Long-Term Relationship Vets (5–10+ Years)
Also known as: "We’re in Love, But Also...We’re Tired"
You’ve weathered job changes, family drama, and possibly small humans calling you “Mom” and “Dad.” At this stage, intimacy is less about quantity and more about connection—and if we’re being honest, 1 to 4 times a month is a very common sweet spot.
It’s not that the spark is gone—it’s that the spark has to work around school projects, dentist appointments, and the sudden need to fix a leaky faucet at 10 PM.
Late-night loving sometimes turns into late-night shoulder massages and shared melatonin.
Stage 4: Seasoned Love (10+ Years and Still Giggling)
Also known as: "We’ve Got History, Heart, and Maybe Some Heating Pads"
Here’s the beautiful part: Intimacy often takes on new forms. It's still there, but it may not look like it did in your twenties—and that’s okay. Some couples still make love weekly, others monthly, and some find other ways to connect deeply (cue the synchronized teeth brushing).
The frequency might drop, but the meaning behind it deepens. You’ve built a life together. You’ve grown. You’ve probably seen each other sneeze spaghetti, and you’re still in love.
That, friends, is romance.
So… What’s Normal?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Every couple’s intimacy frequency is unique, like a love language wrapped in scheduling chaos. What matters most is that you both feel connected, desired, and like you're part of the same saucy team.
Open communication, affection, touch (even the quick “I love you” butt grab while cooking), and laughter are all part of a healthy, evolving love life.
So whether you’re in the three-times-a-week camp or the “we cuddle and giggle and that counts” stage—cheers to love, in all its messy, magical glory.
