Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Soulmate Experience - Connect Through Your Past

We want to thank Mali Apple and Joe Dunn for sharing an excerpt of their book, The Soulmate Experience with us.  
Our past experiences have the potential to greatly contribute to our relationship. Many of us, though, are uncomfortable hearing about our partner’s previous lovers and sexual encounters. We may be inclined to judge our romantic and sexual experiences against theirs or to compare ourselves to their past lovers. We may be concerned if our partner expresses appreciation or affection for a former lover. Many couples, usually through an unspoken agreement, simply avoid the topic altogether.
Some people, while intrigued by their partner’s previous intimacies and the idea of sharing their own, have either been conditioned to stay clear of the subject or don’t think their partner would be receptive. Other people would be comfortable relating their own stories, but would rather avoid the insecurities that would surface if they listen to their partner’s.
Because many of us tend to experience jealousy in these situations, we’re often advised to be cautious about which experiences we share and how much we reveal. We’re warned not to say anything that could make our partner feel inadequate or insecure. But if we set up our relationships so that we must censor ourselves and try to anticipate and avoid whatever might trigger our partner’s jealousy, we may never know the profound intimacy that’s at the heart of a truly connected relationship.
When we have the tools and the intentions in place to heal any uncomfortable feelings that surface, sharing our past romances and sexual encounters with our lover can be a path to deeper intimacy. Revealing aspects of ourselves that we normally keep hidden, and exploring them with the person we love, is true intimacy. A safe, loving space is also an ideal environment for investigating and beginning to heal painful memories or lingering wounds from sexual experiences that were embarrassing, diminishing, or traumatic. Through this process, you might also be inspired to investigate them further with the help of a coach or counselor.
If you and your partner decide to try sharing your memories and experiences, it will be a very personal process. When you’re the storyteller, you might paint a scene for your partner by describing the setting and how you were feeling. When you’re the listener, you might just offer your partner your loving presence, listening fully and letting go of any opinions, judgments, or agenda. Or you might ask questions that encourage your partner to explore the memory more deeply. Whatever approaches the two of you take, have an intention to stay completely connected. If uncomfortable feelings are triggered, turning your attention to exploring and healing them can be a truly loving experience.
As you connect through your intimate stories, your relationship circle will expand to embrace your previous experiences. Instead of feeling separate from each other’s past, you will be drawing on those pasts to contribute to your present—together.
Excerpted with permission from The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships by Mali Apple and Joe Dunn. This bestselling book won a 2012 International Book Awards gold medal and a 2012 Living Now Awards silver medal. Mali and Joe are currently deep in the creation process of the second book in “The Soulmate Experience” series, The Soulmate Lover.

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Monday, October 28, 2013

Better Love and Sex Radio

Rob and Janelle Alex were recently interviewed by Devi Ward on her radio show, Better Love and Sex.  Lots of fun!

"Click HERE to listen to Devi and Sexy Challengers Janelle & Rob Alex as they share ways to spice up your sex life with spiritual nourishment.
Blending the sacred and the sensual offers couples the opportunity to deepen the bond between them, experience transcendental sex, gain access to the Divine, manifest wonderful things into their lives, connect with their partner in a much deeper way, and move their sex life to the next level."

Friday, October 25, 2013

Dating Someone With Kids?

Recent Sexy Challenge Heartbeats podcast episodes...
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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Talking About Senior Sex

We are excited to share with you one of our colleague's videos.  
Joan Price is one of the co-authors of a newly released book we are a part of.
Check out her books!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Sexy Challenges - Fan Favorites!

Have you picked up any new Sexy Challenges?  Here are some fan favorites! 
Grab a couple...or grab the compilation of the first 50!

**These links are for your Kindle (via Amazon).
You can get Sexy Challenges for the Nook or via iTunes too!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

10 Romantic Ideas for Dates

10 Romantic Date Ideas To Warm Up Your Relationship

10 Romantic Date Ideas
From first dates to 50th wedding anniversaries, everyone wants to be swept off their feet and taken on a romantic date that will be remembered forever. Dates can be hard to plan, especially when factors like limited time and tight budgets are considered, but great dates don't have to take months to be perfected or thousands of dollars to execute. Spending some thoughtful time with someone you are attracted to or in love with can be the most romantic thing in the world no matter what you are doing, and these romantic dates will open up opportunities to talk so that you can discover what you want in your partner.
Here are 10 romantic date ideas that are guaranteed to get you that good night kiss. Use these ideas for dating free of worry.
Picnic Outdoors
There are so many romantic dating sites outdoors, and this romantic date can be as elaborate as you want it to be. Hire a waiter to serve the two of you at a pre-scouted spot that you've prepared with a table, chairs, flowers and full dinner service. Have chilled champagne available and chocolate covered strawberries to eat for dessert while watching the sun set. Or simply grab take out from a favorite restaurant and eat on a blanket, snuggled close together with a couple beers. This date is great for everyone because it is completely customizable to every personality and view of romance.
Visit a museum
Museums are filled with history and beauty that can be very emotion provoking. Plus, the general quiet atmosphere of a museum will force the two of you to speak closely and in hushed tones which is very intimate and can get those physical sparks flying.
Plan a scavenger hunt
Scavenger hunts are full of fun and surprise, and they can be made specific to the two of you if you already have a history together. Write clues pertaining to inside jokes or previous dates and have a fun present waiting at the end or make the hunt lead to a romantic dinner location.
Campfire on the beach or under the stars
Snuggle up together under a blanket and roast marshmallows while watching for shooting stars on this romantic date. This time together will facilitate talking so that you can discover what you should know about the person you are dating. Your physical chemistry will also benefit as you sit close together in the dark. It's intimate and inexpensive; plus, what's more romantic than a night under the stars?
Watch the sunrise
This romantic date idea is perfect for the early risers. Pick a beautiful local spot that has a great view of the rising sun like a bridge or an overlook on a mountain, and bring pastries or bagels and freshly brewed coffee or creamy hot chocolate. This morning date opens up possibilities for being able to spend the rest of the day together.
Go to a drive-in
Drive-in movies are classically romantic. They are perfect for first dates or 100th dates because they give you something to do if you don't want to talk, but they also allow you the freedom of speaking to each other without bothering the people next to you.
Get dressed up and have drinks in a fancy hotel lobby
Many high end hotels have great restaurants and bars that are elegantly decorated or have a fun theme. Getting dressed up to have drinks in one of these lobby bars feels special and romantic because it's something that people rarely do.
Shop for ingredients and make dinner together
Go to the grocery store or a local farmer's market armed with a list or simply a sense of adventure and pick out ingredients for a romantic dinner. Then make dinner together before sharing a night in with low lights and burning candles. Cooking together is extremely romantic and it will most likely cause a few laughs.
Go whale watching
This romantic date takes a little prep work and scheduling, but being on the ocean together and catching a glimpse of these elegant sea creatures will make a memory that won't soon be forgotten.
Take a dance class
Every style of dance is being offered as a class now that you and your date can take together. Spice things up with Salsa or Tango lessons, or keep it classy with traditional ballroom techniques. Either way, it's an excuse to do something new and fun that will bring you physically and emotionally closer together.
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Sunday, October 13, 2013

Feng Shui Your Bedroom

Feng Shui For Love - How to Feng Shui Your Love Life and Bring Romance Back

Try these simple and practical Feng Shui tips to improve your love life and relationships in general. Feng Shui must-haves for those looking for love.
If you have been unlucky in love so far, move the furniture in your bedroom around. This will change and refresh the flow of energy in your room. You should move your bed to a different location at least once a year so that your love life does not get stale.
Do not position your bed so that when you sleep you are facing the bathroom. If you sleep facing the washroom, you are likely to be involved in messy love triangles. Even if you are in a relationship, facing the bathroom might make you prone to arguments or tension with your partner. Plus you might be prone to urological problems such as bladder infections. If you cannot move the bed, you can block the flow of energy with a screen or lat the very least, keep your bathroom door shut at all times and hang a plant in each upper corner by the bathroom door.
Put two objects of a similar size on the bedside table. This represents you and your (future) loved one. This could be almost anything such as a pair of candles or a set of vases or ornaments. Feel free to have more than one representation of a pair such as picture of two birds on your wall.
Place a crystal close to your bedroom window. This will bring the colors of the rainbow into your room.
Keep bathroom and closet doors closed.
Open your windows once a day to let out the old energy and allow the new energy to come in.
For all-round good feng shui, a water plant is an absolute must-have. Bamboos, rubber plants and all varieties of palms are good choices. Look after the plant well so it is healthy and vibrant. Put the plant next to your front door. Don't put any thorny plants near your front door.
Remove any items from past relationships such as photographs, momentos, gifts and clothes. Basically keep anything that reminds you of a past, failed relationship out of sight. Buy new sheets, pillows and duvets for a fresh start. Keep your house uncluttered. If your house is too full of stuff, how can anyone enter it?
Use this feng shui love tips to bring new, positive energy to your home.
Gemma Swansburg is a writer/researcher who wishes you happiness and good feng shui. Read Gemma's latest article, a Luminess Tan reviewfeaturing the at-home self tanning system highly rated by Allure Magazine. For a great trial and other offers and free info on the Luminess Tan system and other airbrush tanning equipment, visit her site at
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Thursday, October 10, 2013

Cell Phone Erotica

What might you type to create a sexy or erotic texting experience with your sweetie?  Well, you could create a sexy story together.  Each creating the next line or idea.

Here is an example from the Sexy Challenge: Cell Phone Erotica

TEXT #1 - "It was a hot day in Texas, so hot that even the pool Suzy was sitting by felt like bath water."

TEXT #2 - "Suzy pulled an ice cube from her drink and slowly worked it around her chest to feel its cool wet touch."

Let's jump to TEXT #5 - "Suzy saw John watching and became even more adventurous with the ice." 

You can create some serious anticipation if the two of you work together.  Pick up this Sexy Challenge to help get your started!   (Or via iTunes.)

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Keep Your Relationship Sexy and Close

We believe that couples can stay close - emotionally, romantically, and physically throughout their relationship.  It doesn't matter how long they are together.  *Now mind you, we realize that there are simply times that people grow apart no matter how much they try to grow together.  Or they really weren't meant to be together to begin with.  In those situations, there is nothing wrong with moving on.

But, for those couples who simply drift apart without conscious thought or they fall into a rut of the relationship just being "good enough" we want them to know that they can have a deeply connected relationship.  They can be best friends and amazing lovers.

By sharing amazing tips, advice, guidance and creating sexy, sensual and sacred scenarios for couples we open a door for couples to step through and find ways to keep the spark alive.

And, we just so happen to do this through our daily blog and over 80 ebooks - Sexy Challenges and Intimate Adventures and more via Amazon, iTunes, and Barnes and Noble.  And, of course, through our podcast, Sexy Challenge Heartbeats.  Wanna pick some up or subscribe to the podcast for free?

What are you waiting for?

Keeping it sacred and sexy,
Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc.

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Monday, October 7, 2013

Let Go of Toxic Relationships

*Apply some of these principles to your romantic relationship.

Why You Need to Let Go of Toxic Relationships

Expert Author Marquita A Herald
I am currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me again, you're one of them. ~Author Unknown
Do you find yourself keeping good news from a friend because they always manage to make you feel unworthy of whatever good fortune comes your way? Worse yet, they actually make you feel guilty for your achievements by repeatedly harping on about how "lucky" you are, while life has been so unfair to them.
Maybe you've begun to realize how drained you feel after spending time with a friend, but continue to put up with the negativity for no other reason than you've been friends for so long...
Toxic relationships can lead to stress, depression, anxiety and even medical problems.
Did you know that negative relationships can be just as toxic to your health as fast food or a toxic environment? In a long term study that followed more than 10,000 subjects for an average of 12.2 years, researchers discovered that subjects in negative relationships were at a greater risk for developing heart problems, including a fatal cardiac event, than their counterparts whose close relationships were not negative.
Of course few relationships are harmonious 24/7, so how do you really know you're in a toxic relationship? The term toxic relationship refers to interactions with others that are consistently negative and draining. The nature of these relationships is defined by patterns, not by one-time or occasional lapses in the give and take that is the essence of a healthy friendship.
The first step in confronting toxic relationships is to identify them. See if any of these examples sound familiar to you.
  • They often criticize or make fun of those people closest to you.
  • They complain about everything, are never at fault for anything, and repeatedly dump their problems on you.
  • You're made to feel guilty for anything and everything you have that they don't, even if their bad situation is of their own making.
  • You can never trust them to keep a secret, and if they do spill one, and you confront them, they'll claim they had no idea it was such a "big deal."
  • You find yourself rationalizing keeping the friendship for no other reason than longevity.
  • They constantly remind you of all of the 'favors' they've done for you. You're now convinced that the only reason you got a 'favor' in the first place was so that it could be held over your head.
  • They find fault with everything you say, and you're often made to feel dumb for expressing a viewpoint that differs from theirs.
  • They discourage you from trying new things, learning new skills or growing in any way.
  • Just spending time with this person leaves you feeling drained.
  • They constantly cut you off, put you down, reprimand you, or make fun of your ideas in front of others. They may even try to convince you that their criticism is for you own good.
Okay, so I don't know about you - but just going through that list made me squirm. Why would you want people like this in your life?!
Well, the truth is sometimes we're related to these people, in fact it could be good old mom and dad, along with Brother Bob, Sister Sue, and Uncle Elmo, not to mention a few close, personal friends. I am not suggesting that you to disown every negative or pessimistic person in your life; I am just asking you to be aware of the toxic effect they have on you, and to learn to protect yourself from the fallout.
Redefining Toxic Relationships
First of all, give some thought to whether or not you really need to end the friendship. Can you downgrade the relationship so you see each other less often or dilute it by seeing each other within the context of a group? Can you simply take a break (time off) to give each other a breather?
Here are a few more suggestions:
  • Keep your expectations realistic. Never make your self-worth dependent on them or confide your deepest feelings to someone who won't cherish them. Though it's better not to have to contend with this tedious ego stroking at all, if the relationship is unavoidable the best way to communicate with them is to focus on how something will benefit them.

  • Set firm limits. There are times when each of us has taken a turn feeling like a "victim" of life's cruel jokes, but again here we're talking about chronic behavior. Trying to get someone in perpetual victim mode to see the good things in life is a no win game and will exhaust you. If you can't remove them from your life all together, then do whatever you have to do to minimize time with them and remain positive.

  • If you have a chronic criticizer in your life and they launch into a rant, first address any misplaced criticism directly without becoming defensive. If it continues then simply leave the room if you can. The negative person is simply seeking to get a reaction from you.

  • If the relationship isn't very close to start with, you may decide the best thing to do will be to merely drift apart. Make yourself less accessible.

  • If you've reached the point where you feel there is nothing really to be gained by continuing the relationship, simply find the courage to cut them loose.
Get rid of the guilt.
In many cases, these are people whose needs can never be satisfied. No matter what you give, what you do, how much, or how often, will never be enough. So don't ever feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter how long you've known them, or what their relationship is to you - you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if someone disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they do not deserve to be a part of your life.

Friday, October 4, 2013

Dreamed About Sex? What Does It Really Mean?

What Do Your Sex Dreams Really Mean?

At some point, we've all had a sexual dream. Whether your dream was exotic and wild, strange and unsettling or gentle and romantic, there's a reason why you had this particular dream at this particular time.
"Sexual dreams reveal your desires and anxieties," says Gillian Holloway, PhD, author of Erotic Dreams. "Your subconscious uses these raw, lustful situations to sort out emotions you may not be confronting in waking life." Sure, maybe you already know dreams serve as a portal to your psyche, but you might not realize how obscure their implications can be.
Often sexual dreams are just a medium to understand one's inner self, desire or even passion, which is absent from the conscious level of the mind due to external factors such as suppression. In our society the skewed outlook on matters of sex makes it a taboo topic for discussion.
Sexual dreams may be a means to compensate for what is lacking in real life. To take an example, there was a saint who had renounced everything, followed austerity and shunned women. He started having recurring erotic dreams and was confused at his response. A closer look by a counsellor revealed that this was his way of balancing his inner and outer self. The dreams in question were his way to fulfil his sexual needs and yet manage to follow celibacy in real life. Applying morality to dreams would be, of course, unfair.
These types of dreams can also provide the dreamer with a neutral space where she can go beyond her inhibitions and overcome her fears regarding sex or certain behaviours. Certain behavioural change that a person is skeptical about adopting in waking life will sometimes manifest in dreams, and in most cases is a precursor to, or sign for, changes to follow.
Sexual dreams are rarely literal. Though you might hope that last night's dream of you and Drew Barrymore was a precognitive dream, a view of future events, it probably isn't. Sex dreams, and most dreams for that matter, are metaphors, or perhaps similes, and highly symbolic. They give you a picture, an image, of what a situation is like or can be compared to. If, in your dream, you are feeling pressured to have sex, take a look at your waking life and see where you are feeling pressured or by whom.
You need to remember that dreams should be understood in their context. If a person dreams of having sex in a car, it might imply that he wants to own the car-sex becomes a symbol for ownership. If a dreamer dreams of making love to a stranger in an unfamiliar place, this may be suggesting that she is looking for something new to be introduced into her relationship, or that she is estranged from her own sexuality.
The way the dream made you feel and its correlation with some incident in your recent past will aid in understanding it and its message.
Sex dreams are as common and natural as the physical sexual act. Such dreams shouldn't disturb us, but rather they should be seen as a call for introspection and a deeper look at what's being re-presented. Dreams always come in service of our greater good, at a time when the subject of the dream needs to be addressed. Dreams are our very own, private therapists. And they don't cost us a dime.
Terry L. Gillis, a.k.a The Dream Lady, invites you to visit her comprehensive mind and dreaming site at [] Take your time and explore all that the site has to offer: visit the library, read the most recent articles, subscribe to the free monthly newsletter, The Nocturnal Times, and much more.
(c) Copyright - All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
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Tuesday, October 1, 2013

She Got a New Job...You Don't Want to Move

How to Help Your Partner Deal With an Unwanted Move

Sometimes, one person in a marriage gets an opportunity in another city, state or even country that can cause strife in the partnership. Perhaps the other person will be expected to move with the spouse and away from friends and family. This kind of scenario can be hard on the relationship and can sometimes even lead to the destruction of it. However, if you and your spouse are committed to making the move, even if one person is not looking forward to it, you can get through the change and be stronger in the end.
The most important thing to realize is that you should never make the decision to move without your partner's knowing. You can't just hire the movers and expect your spouse to be on board with it when the moving truck pulls into the driveway to move your things. It is critical for you to begin the discussion of moving as soon as you realize the opportunity is there. All decisions related to the move, if in fact, the decision to move is made, should be made together. From the movers you pick to the actual moving day.
You might need to get outside help to assist you and your spouse through the difficult moving process. For example, if you have a great job waiting for you in your new location, but your spouse is going to be jobless when you move, it is wise to contact a career counselor before the move is made to find out what your partner can do to make the transition easier. If your spouse can get a job in the new location as well, it might make him or her feel better about the change.
If you decide that only one of you needs a job in the new location, you might want to help your spouse get involved in local organizations, clubs or educational opportunities to help him or her integrate into the new community as quickly as possible. Almost all cities have local colleges or recreation centers that offer classes and other organized activities, which can help your spouse feel more at home more quickly.
Finally, if your spouse is completely unhappy with the move and you really feel like the change could tear your relationship apart, it might not be the opportunity you thought it was. Sometimes, the move you don't make could be the right decision after all.
John is a shrewd consumer who writes about personal finance, finding deals, and local consumer home services like: movers Dallas and local movers Chicago.
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