Just What Does It Mean to Date?

Make That Date

By: Dr. Jeff Davis

Look at a scenario concerning dating;

You look across the room and there he or she is. This person has a warm smile, pretty face and looks great physically. Your mind begins to consider what your eyes are looking at and you smile back. You like what you see. Then you move on and open your mouth. A brief conversation occurs (you both giggle a bit, smile a lot) and you find yourself asking if this person would like to meet you for coffee or breakfast to just talk. They say yes.

You just made a date!

What is the definition for dating? What does it mean? Different people have different meanings for what it means to them. Here is a general definition;

Dating. The practice of going out with someone to have company and companionship with, oftentimes with the goal of seeking a permanent lifetime partner.

Dating has been around for centuries. People have used dating as the main way to meet someone of the opposite sex. It keeps your options open and is a good way to find people who are compatible with you.

Here are some reasons people look for someone to be with:

1) Friendship date - someone who you know and are comfortable in their presence. You call them up to just hang out, maybe no real agenda.
2) Eye Candy - this is the person you ask to go out with you when you want to be seen with someone stunning on your arms.
3) Sex Partner - this is the person that you find is good in bed. People who arrange for these types of dates typically only want one thing. Once that has been satisfied the partner can go on their own way.
4) Dance Partner - this person is the one you go out with to party. They love to dance and do the whole party scene so you can go out on a "night on the town"
5) Fun Partner - this person you call up when you are just lonely or need some company. You may have no special place to be and not want sex, just company.
6) Finding a life partner - We call this "dating to mate" where you are looking for that marriage material date.

The only way you can get to know someone is to go out with them, spend time with them and get to know them better. People tend to be on their best behavior when you first meet. It is only after spending time with them do you get to see who they really are. You can go and have some fun.

This article is an excerpt from my new book "Do You Want to Date or Mate" available on Amazon. For more info visit my website.

http://www.drjeffwrites.wix.com/drjeffknows

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**This is post is sponsored by:  www.intuisix.com

An Online Dating website that offers moderated Online Group Video Dating + Verified Profiles

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8768354

How Can You Attract a Beautiful Mate?

Take a moment to picture yourself with the following woman… She has a radiant smile. She engages you in fun banter. The two of you to laugh together with ease. When you want to go out to a movie, concert, or some other form of entertainment, you immediately think of going with her. You love sharing experiences with this woman. - Read the full article by clicking here.

What are the 5 Attraction Keys included in this article?

1. Your Smile
2. Your Laugh
3. Your Banter
4. Your Entertainment
5. Your Shared Experiences

Get the details of each of these keys here.

If you're looking to meet the love of your life, you need to know how to talk to him/her.  Check out Stylelife by Neil Strauss at http://web.stylelife.com.

Photo credit: © Martin Cintula - Fotolia.com

How to Deal With Cheating

Surviving an affair means among other things that you are paying for someone else's failure.

There will be plenty of work to be done after the extramarital relationship because due to your actions you've done a lot of damage to your marital relationship which is hanging by a strand

Yet after discussing the situation with your mate they have made up their mind to stick with you. That means there is a lot of hard work ahead regarding coping with infidelity. In spite of true love as well as effort there are no guarantees that life will ever get back to normal or even that the spousal relationship itself will carry on. Even so to ensure that it does move in the right direction and beyond you will need to be ready to agree to particular guidelines.

1. Stop The Dishonesty

No question fabrication was a huge part of your toolkit. Let's be perfectly frank you can't successfully carry on a marital affair without it.

Yet making it through an extramarital relationship means it must stop now if you want to get back your significant other's trust. Any kind of lie regardless of how small that gets found out is only going to wreck any attempt to repair the marital relationship. In case your mate catches you in a small white fib then most likely they may believe you're being misleading regarding other issues.

And please, none of that self-delusional nonsense. You lied to shield them or you didn't believe that it was an issue. All of it amounts to the very same thing which is you're returning to your old ways of deception which drove you to have an affair to begin with. The old saying telling the truth is still the best policy must be the foundation stone of your marriage when it relates to getting over cheating.

2. No Self-Pity

It may seem that all the profound changes in lifestyle you are forced to go through along with the monitoring system needed to keep track of your behavior is not in accordance what you did. So you begin to feel sorry for yourself. You even attempt to diminish what you did. Cheating on your mate was not so bad you tell yourself. Definitely not as compared to what you are forced to undergo at this juncture. 
Stop right there. You're not the victim here and pretending that you are is only going to block the healing. Step back and make the concerted effort to not concentrate on you. Instead concentrate on your mate and the way they feel. In surviving an affair rebuilding the spousal relationship is the work of both individuals but the person impacted the most is your spouse whom you cheated on.

3. You Are Not The Decider

You come to a time during this rehab phase and make a decision that things are back to what they used to be so you start slacking on a few things. Absolutely wrong. It is important to accept the fact you are likely to munch on humble pie for some time. Just how long is awhile? Until your mate determines. It's about them feeling better not you.

Overcoming an affair means they essentially are in charge of how things will go. Yes they need to obtain your suggestions from time to time but in the end it's up to them. You can easily check out how things are going on occasion but don't seek to hurry the process or try to mold your spouse into seeing things your way. To be frank you did enough manipulating while you were cheating.

4. Be Attentive

There are certainly likely to be times when your mate wishes to vent. It is oftentimes a very essential recovery activity for surviving cheating. That may entail they talk about what you did again and again. Be prepared to pay close attention regardless of how frequently they bring it up. You wounded them deeply so discussing it again and again is a method to work through the anguish.

Do not assume your spouse to talk about it several times and then feel 100% better. A lot of people have to attend therapy for many years to deal with overcoming unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness in a spousal relationship can ruin not only someone's self-esteem but destroy the psyche to the point all they can think about is what their mate did. It is an uncomfortable process you you placed them in so be ready whenever required to provide your undivided attention. by Daryl Campell Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/coping-with-infidelity-what-the-cheating-spouse-must-take-care-of-6750837.html Photo credit: familyfriendlypoems.com 

Sexy Home/Marriage Repair

The Home Repair That Makes A Marriage Sexy

By Steven Schloss

Is the foundation of your marriage full of cracks?

Are you lacking the tools to fix what's broken?

If you are a "Do It Yourself" type of guy, don't the proper repairs result in increased value and appreciation?

Funny how these questions resonate as much with home repair as marriage!

You see, unhappy marriages are epidemic in our nation. Married men are miserable and frustrated with their wives and sex life. Divorce is at an all time high and second marriages have a divorce rate even higher than first timers. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are easy solutions to make your marriage as great as it can be.

Did you know that if you were to spend just a fraction of the attention that you focus on your projects and rechannel that attention to your wife, you would have a much better, and sexually fulfilling, marriage?

Truth is, you can make your wife happy by paying attention to her only 1% of your day and still have lots of time to work on your hobbies.

You see, after we get married, we forget to do the things we did for our wives when we dated. Remember how attentive you were to her? How you called her all the time, were thoughtful by remembering things she liked, and took her out to do fun things together? You even were happy to attack her "Honey Do" list!

But now, you are constantly looking for things to do that distract you from having to spend time with her. You have given up as things are not like they were in the good old days. You truly feel that you get more pleasure being alone and doing your projects.

But you know what? Your wife is starving, absolutely starving for your attention. She wants you to romance her and pay attention to her. But you have stopped! Yet you still expect just a little bit of attention right before bedtime to result in her wanting to jump your naked body!

Nope, you need to work at it, just like you need to invest time in your projects to see a great final product that provides satisfaction.

Start calling your wife endearing names like you used to. Take her out on a date and treat her like you did when you first met. Call her during the day and let her know that you miss her. Hold her hand when you walk down the street. Give her a back massage. And do all these things WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN!

You can't expect years of neglect to correct things overnight. It took years for that roof to fall apart. And it may take weeks to fix it. Think of your marriage as a home repair project. Make a plan, get organized, invest in the proper tools, do a little bit every day, and be proud of what you have done.

You won't believe the love and intimacy you receive from your wife by applying a similar planning and project completion strategy to your marriage.

~ Steve

Steve Schloss is an author, public speaker and men's relationship acceleration coach who offers one-on-one coaching to help men rejuvenate the fun and love in their marriage virtually overnight. A graduate of The University of Wisconsin with an MBA degree, his professional career in publishing and marketing includes 30 years in corporate America with assignments at Meredith, Hearst and SourceMedia. Steve currently lives in Princeton, NJ, has two grown children and is in a wonderfully loving relationship.

For more information about "The Man's Secret to a Happy and Sexy Marriage in Less than 10 Minutes a Day", please visithttp://www.mantomantalks.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steven_Schloss

Photo credit: © evgenyatamanenko - Fotolia.com

The Soulmate Experience - Connect Through Your Past

We want to thank Mali Apple and Joe Dunn for sharing an excerpt of their book, The Soulmate Experience with us.  

CONNECT THROUGH YOUR PREVIOUS EXPERIENCES

Our past experiences have the potential to greatly contribute to our relationship. Many of us, though, are uncomfortable hearing about our partner’s previous lovers and sexual encounters. We may be inclined to judge our romantic and sexual experiences against theirs or to compare ourselves to their past lovers. We may be concerned if our partner expresses appreciation or affection for a former lover. Many couples, usually through an unspoken agreement, simply avoid the topic altogether.

Some people, while intrigued by their partner’s previous intimacies and the idea of sharing their own, have either been conditioned to stay clear of the subject or don’t think their partner would be receptive. Other people would be comfortable relating their own stories, but would rather avoid the insecurities that would surface if they listen to their partner’s.

Because many of us tend to experience jealousy in these situations, we’re often advised to be cautious about which experiences we share and how much we reveal. We’re warned not to say anything that could make our partner feel inadequate or insecure. But if we set up our relationships so that we must censor ourselves and try to anticipate and avoid whatever might trigger our partner’s jealousy, we may never know the profound intimacy that’s at the heart of a truly connected relationship.

When we have the tools and the intentions in place to heal any uncomfortable feelings that surface, sharing our past romances and sexual encounters with our lover can be a path to deeper intimacy. Revealing aspects of ourselves that we normally keep hidden, and exploring them with the person we love, is true intimacy. A safe, loving space is also an ideal environment for investigating and beginning to heal painful memories or lingering wounds from sexual experiences that were embarrassing, diminishing, or traumatic. Through this process, you might also be inspired to investigate them further with the help of a coach or counselor.

If you and your partner decide to try sharing your memories and experiences, it will be a very personal process. When you’re the storyteller, you might paint a scene for your partner by describing the setting and how you were feeling. When you’re the listener, you might just offer your partner your loving presence, listening fully and letting go of any opinions, judgments, or agenda. Or you might ask questions that encourage your partner to explore the memory more deeply. Whatever approaches the two of you take, have an intention to stay completely connected. If uncomfortable feelings are triggered, turning your attention to exploring and healing them can be a truly loving experience.

As you connect through your intimate stories, your relationship circle will expand to embrace your previous experiences. Instead of feeling separate from each other’s past, you will be drawing on those pasts to contribute to your present—together.

Excerpted with permission from The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships by Mali Apple and Joe Dunn. This bestselling book won a 2012 International Book Awards gold medal and a 2012 Living Now Awards silver medal. Mali and Joe are currently deep in the creation process of the second book in “The Soulmate Experience” series, The Soulmate Lover.

Click here to get your copy of Mali and Joe's book, The Soulmate Experience.

Photo credit: © Maksim Toome - Fotolia.com

She Got a New Job...You Don't Want to Move

How to Help Your Partner Deal With an Unwanted Move

By John C Cherry

Sometimes, one person in a marriage gets an opportunity in another city, state or even country that can cause strife in the partnership. Perhaps the other person will be expected to move with the spouse and away from friends and family. This kind of scenario can be hard on the relationship and can sometimes even lead to the destruction of it. However, if you and your spouse are committed to making the move, even if one person is not looking forward to it, you can get through the change and be stronger in the end.

The most important thing to realize is that you should never make the decision to move without your partner's knowing. You can't just hire the movers and expect your spouse to be on board with it when the moving truck pulls into the driveway to move your things. It is critical for you to begin the discussion of moving as soon as you realize the opportunity is there. All decisions related to the move, if in fact, the decision to move is made, should be made together. From the movers you pick to the actual moving day.

You might need to get outside help to assist you and your spouse through the difficult moving process. For example, if you have a great job waiting for you in your new location, but your spouse is going to be jobless when you move, it is wise to contact a career counselor before the move is made to find out what your partner can do to make the transition easier. If your spouse can get a job in the new location as well, it might make him or her feel better about the change.

If you decide that only one of you needs a job in the new location, you might want to help your spouse get involved in local organizations, clubs or educational opportunities to help him or her integrate into the new community as quickly as possible. Almost all cities have local colleges or recreation centers that offer classes and other organized activities, which can help your spouse feel more at home more quickly.

Finally, if your spouse is completely unhappy with the move and you really feel like the change could tear your relationship apart, it might not be the opportunity you thought it was. Sometimes, the move you don't make could be the right decision after all.

John is a shrewd consumer who writes about personal finance, finding deals, and local consumer home services like: movers Dallas and local movers Chicago.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_C_Cherry

Photo credit: iowahouse.org

Enjoy a Happy Sex Life

Stay Healthy and Enjoy a Happy Sex Life

By Karen Fickler

Women's fitness and healthy living can offer many benefits for your physical and mental health. But did you know that a healthy lifestyle may be the key to promoting a happy sex life? The better you feel physically the more likely it is that you will be healthy enough for sex. Building your muscles, especially your pelvic floor muscles actually helps to improve the functions of your sexual organs.

Nutrition is nature's medicine. Begin with a healthy diet of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, proteins and healthy fats. Overeating, especially foods that are high in saturated fats, leads to high blood cholesterol and obesity, both major causes of cardiovascular disease and diabetes. This can mean your body is not healthy enough for sex.

Sex is good for you. When women's estrogen levels drop at menopause, the vaginal walls lose some of their elasticity. It's possible to slow this process or even reverse it through sexual activity. Sex is your vagina's women's fitness program.

Exercise promotes healthy sex: Regular aerobic activity, Pilates, Yoga and strength training exercises all promote women's fitness and may help to improve your sex life. Exercise helps the cardio system and aids in flexibility and stamina to help you enjoy better sex for a longer time.

If your sex life is still lacking, you might try these helpful hints:

Get out of the bedroom. Maybe you've never had sex on the kitchen floor or in a secluded spot in the woods; now might be the time to try it. Or try exploring erotic books and films. Even just the feeling of naughtiness you get from checking out an X-rated movie at the local video store might make you feel frisky.

Sensuality counts. Create an environment for lovemaking that appeals to all five of your senses. Light scented candles, cover your bed with silk or satin for a sensual touch. Play music that you both enjoy, buy flowers and place in a lovely vase. Make your bedroom a special place to make love.

Be playful. Take a bubble bath together or even a shower. Being wet and naked together is a great lead-in to sex. Wash each other's backs. Tickle. Laugh. Enjoy.

Let your imagination soar. Be creative by varying your activity. For example, if you're used to making love on Saturday morning, choose Sunday morning instead. Have sex in the middle of the week. Be open to different positions and new activities. Try sex toys and purchase sexy lingerie.

Be romantic. Surprise each other with flowers when it isn't a special occasion. Plan a day when all you do is lie in bed, talk, and be intimate. Leave sweet messages on each other's cell phones. Tell your lover how special he is and how much you love him.

Karen Ficarelli is the founder and CEO of Fitness4Her.com, a diet, exercise program and women's fitness blog, developed especially for women. A mother of three, Karen knows how hard it is to fit everything into a busy schedule. A fitness author, personal trainer, Pilate's instructor, sports nutritionist, fitness model, wife and mom, Karen is passionate about helping other women reach their fitness goals.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_Ficarelli

How to Not Lose Touch With Your Sweetie

It is so easy to lose touch with your beloved partner.  In these modern times, it has become easier and easier to tune in to the television, your computer, your phone or your iPad.  This means you are tuning out from your sweetheart and your intimate relationship.  It may not seem so at first, but eventually, even being turned on by your lover will wane and become second to today’s media and digital gadgets and other things you fill your life with.  It is vital to stay tuned in to your relationship and to your partner so that you stay turned on by them too!  Only then can you work towards experiencing a long-lasting committed relationship filled with love and trust.   

Relationships are actually spiritual paths for each of us.  Your romantic intimate relationship is the most profound of all.  It will offer you a mirror for your deepest emotions, expressions, neurotic patterns (we ALL have them), love, compassion, and humor to be reflected back to you in some fashion.  

So, how can you reignite intimacy and sensual pleasure in your relationship?  And, if you still have it, how can you take it to the next level?

A Quick Note About Sensuality vs. Sexuality

More often than not if someone says to you, “That was a sensual delight.”  Your mind will instantly think “sex”.  But, sensual pleasure is really about gratifying the senses – all of them – not just the five physical ones.  You don’t have to involve physical lovemaking to experience your sensuality.  Delighting in the sight of your lover, hearing his/her laugh, smelling a special cologne, holding hands or sharing a massage, or tasting his/her lips are sensual experiences.  Connecting to your own soul, your lover’s soul, and your spirituality is also very sensual. 

Know YOU – Get Connected to Your Own Soul

Getting in touch with yourself, with your soul is the first step in reigniting or upleveling your intimate and sensual pleasure in life and in your relationship.  If you aren’t aware of your spirituality, simply focus on getting in touch with YOU.  Whatever or whoever you are to you. 

The easiest and quickest way to reconnect with your soul is by first recognizing those things in your life that simply light you up inside.  They feel like they are the wind in your sails.  These things can be anything: drumming; singing; teaching; hiking; swimming; dancing; laughing; making love; cooking; gardening; cycling; etc.  There is no right or wrong.  Only you have the answer to what makes you feel this way.  The second step is to make sure you have some of these unique-to-you things in your life daily, weekly, monthly.  Bring them in to your life as often as you can.

You will be happier and this happiness will feed into your relationship.  Share these joys with your lover.

Know Your Sweetheart – Connect to His/Her Soul

This will take your relationship to a deeper level.  Once you (re)connect with your soul – yourself, it is vital that you connect with your sweetheart in a similar way.  What makes him/her light up?  How can you support that and bring more of that into your lives?  If both of you do this and then share it together, you will discover a beautiful aspect of your relationship that you may not have been aware of before.   

Communicate

Communication is key to every single aspect of your relationship.  Yet, not everyone communicates in the same way.  You may be able to talk about your joys, your sorrows, what happened at work today, what the dog did to irritate you, what your best friend posted on your Facebook wall and what is upsetting you in your relationship.  But, your lover may not be able to easily talk about these things.  We can express our feelings through ways other than verbal communication.  It may come through singing, painting, or drawing.  Of course, one of the biggest ways to communicate is through body language.  Be fully present and truly pay attention to your lover.  Listen – deeply – to what he/she may say.  Observe his/her actions or reactions.  There are clues and often, clear messages even if the two of you communicate very differently.

Share Laughter and Play Together      

Don’t take life or yourself too seriously.  Yes, of course, there are very serious aspects, but letting go and goofing around, laughing and being playful is a huge key to happiness and feeling joyful.  This will deepen the closeness between the two of you, which will ultimately help you enhance your sensuality overall. 

Laugh at the dinner table.  Laugh while brushing your teeth.  Laugh throughout your day anywhere and everywhere that you can.  And, for God’s sake, laugh in the bedroom!

Share inside jokes with each other.  Maybe they will relate to a funny bedroom experience or something completely different, but they will be your little secret.  People will envy your closeness.  Allow yourselves to be like two young lovebirds giggling and whispering.

Sharing more laughter with each other and deepening your intimate bond will open a doorway for the two of you to experience powerful, playful passion all day long.  You will be able to feel it pretty much everyday.  Draw upon it when something gets you down or something causes you stress. 

Continue to Learn and Grow Together

Continually seek new things to learn.  You can take classes together or pick up a new hobby together.  Yet, be bold enough to have new experiences individually, too.  By honoring and respecting your lover’s individuality you are helping the two of you grow.  You need to honor and respect YOU, your lover, and your relationship.  You are teammates, but you don’t need to stay attached at the hip all the time either. 

Step outside your comfort zone.  Oh boy, this is a big one!  You can’t grow and sustain a beautiful relationship if you refuse to step outside of your comfort zone.  If you allow fear (fear of failing, fear of rejection, fear of looking like an idiot, fear of???) to keep you within in the boundaries of what you know already, then you prevent yourself from the potentiality of amazing new experiences and from continued growth.  Staying in your comfort zone without learning to step outside of it (even just a tiny baby step) will cause your life to become stagnate.  Hmmm…what will that do your relationship? 

Imagine a beautiful flowing stream always moving and changing when the need arises.  Hear the gentle trickle and smell the fresh air. Now imagine a stagnant pool of water with debris piled up in it.  No pleasant sounds of moving water and a nasty stench to boot.  Would you prefer to continue gently flowing into the unknown or stay stagnate and backed-up? 

Put It All Together

Get in touch with you.  Truly know your own soul.  Dive deep into whom your partner/lover/spouse is and whom he/she becomes as you continue your path together.  Communicate on numerous levels.  Talk to your lover, but be aware of your other forms of communication – body language, eye contact, and much more.  Be playful and bring more laughter into your lives.  Intentionally and willingly step outside of your comfort zone so that you continue to learn and experience new things. 

These are simple ways to not only reignite your passion for your relationship, but for your life.  When passion and deep intimacy is sustained in your romantic relationship, your relationship will be stronger and more beautiful than you may ever have imagined. 

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. - Spiritual Teacher

Rob Alex, M.Sc. - Author or Sexy Challenges/Sacred Sensual Teacher

Copyright 2013

Can you walk the talk?

How often do the two of you just go out for a walk to talk. Getting out of your normal setting and speaking to each other as you stroll along is a great way to stay connected. Find a not so crowded place to walk in your neighborhood and get some exercise while you converse with the person you love. It seems a little easier to converse when you are out in the open as you are not facing each other and you already have your blood pumping from the exercise. Here is a great way to strike up a conversation if you don't have anything to speak about during the walk. Pick something out of the newspaper or find a article in a magazine and then discuss it during your walk. Think up ideas about the subject they can be serious or silly as long as they get the two of you thinking and/or laughing. Stimulating your minds is a great activity to do together now you are adding exercise into the mix so you can't go wrong. Think about it spending time with the person you love, exercising and diving deep into thought what else do you need?