Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Communication, Communication, Communication


We hear it so often that communication is the key to relationship bliss.  However there are many ways to communicate that we didn't have just a few years ago.  Texting, email, Skype and the list goes on and on.  However, we don't want to forget about actually talking.  Make sure to take the time to talk to your partner it will help in many ways.  

Here is an amazing way to get the conversation rolling.


This great book gives you 1000 questions to get the conversations started.

Click Below to pick up the book and get your communication back up to standard.  

Sunday, August 25, 2013

How to Not Lose Touch With Your Sweetie


It is so easy to lose touch with your beloved partner.  In these modern times, it has become easier and easier to tune in to the television, your computer, your phone or your iPad.  This means you are tuning out from your sweetheart and your intimate relationship.  It may not seem so at first, but eventually, even being turned on by your lover will wane and become second to today’s media and digital gadgets and other things you fill your life with.  It is vital to stay tuned in to your relationship and to your partner so that you stay turned on by them too!  Only then can you work towards experiencing a long-lasting committed relationship filled with love and trust.   

Relationships are actually spiritual paths for each of us.  Your romantic intimate relationship is the most profound of all.  It will offer you a mirror for your deepest emotions, expressions, neurotic patterns (we ALL have them), love, compassion, and humor to be reflected back to you in some fashion.  
So, how can you reignite intimacy and sensual pleasure in your relationship?  And, if you still have it, how can you take it to the next level?

A Quick Note About Sensuality vs. Sexuality
More often than not if someone says to you, “That was a sensual delight.”  Your mind will instantly think “sex”.  But, sensual pleasure is really about gratifying the senses – all of them – not just the five physical ones.  You don’t have to involve physical lovemaking to experience your sensuality.  Delighting in the sight of your lover, hearing his/her laugh, smelling a special cologne, holding hands or sharing a massage, or tasting his/her lips are sensual experiences.  Connecting to your own soul, your lover’s soul, and your spirituality is also very sensual. 

Know YOU – Get Connected to Your Own Soul
Getting in touch with yourself, with your soul is the first step in reigniting or upleveling your intimate and sensual pleasure in life and in your relationship.  If you aren’t aware of your spirituality, simply focus on getting in touch with YOU.  Whatever or whoever you are to you. 

The easiest and quickest way to reconnect with your soul is by first recognizing those things in your life that simply light you up inside.  They feel like they are the wind in your sails.  These things can be anything: drumming; singing; teaching; hiking; swimming; dancing; laughing; making love; cooking; gardening; cycling; etc.  There is no right or wrong.  Only you have the answer to what makes you feel this way.  The second step is to make sure you have some of these unique-to-you things in your life daily, weekly, monthly.  Bring them in to your life as often as you can.
You will be happier and this happiness will feed into your relationship.  Share these joys with your lover.

Know Your Sweetheart – Connect to His/Her Soul
This will take your relationship to a deeper level.  Once you (re)connect with your soul – yourself, it is vital that you connect with your sweetheart in a similar way.  What makes him/her light up?  How can you support that and bring more of that into your lives?  If both of you do this and then share it together, you will discover a beautiful aspect of your relationship that you may not have been aware of before.   

Communicate
Communication is key to every single aspect of your relationship.  Yet, not everyone communicates in the same way.  You may be able to talk about your joys, your sorrows, what happened at work today, what the dog did to irritate you, what your best friend posted on your Facebook wall and what is upsetting you in your relationship.  But, your lover may not be able to easily talk about these things.  We can express our feelings through ways other than verbal communication.  It may come through singing, painting, or drawing.  Of course, one of the biggest ways to communicate is through body language.  Be fully present and truly pay attention to your lover.  Listen – deeply – to what he/she may say.  Observe his/her actions or reactions.  There are clues and often, clear messages even if the two of you communicate very differently.

Share Laughter and Play Together      
Don’t take life or yourself too seriously.  Yes, of course, there are very serious aspects, but letting go and goofing around, laughing and being playful is a huge key to happiness and feeling joyful.  This will deepen the closeness between the two of you, which will ultimately help you enhance your sensuality overall. 

Laugh at the dinner table.  Laugh while brushing your teeth.  Laugh throughout your day anywhere and everywhere that you can.  And, for God’s sake, laugh in the bedroom!
Share inside jokes with each other.  Maybe they will relate to a funny bedroom experience or something completely different, but they will be your little secret.  People will envy your closeness.  Allow yourselves to be like two young lovebirds giggling and whispering.
Sharing more laughter with each other and deepening your intimate bond will open a doorway for the two of you to experience powerful, playful passion all day long.  You will be able to feel it pretty much everyday.  Draw upon it when something gets you down or something causes you stress. 

Continue to Learn and Grow Together
Continually seek new things to learn.  You can take classes together or pick up a new hobby together.  Yet, be bold enough to have new experiences individually, too.  By honoring and respecting your lover’s individuality you are helping the two of you grow.  You need to honor and respect YOU, your lover, and your relationship.  You are teammates, but you don’t need to stay attached at the hip all the time either. 

Step outside your comfort zone.  Oh boy, this is a big one!  You can’t grow and sustain a beautiful relationship if you refuse to step outside of your comfort zone.  If you allow fear (fear of failing, fear of rejection, fear of looking like an idiot, fear of???) to keep you within in the boundaries of what you know already, then you prevent yourself from the potentiality of amazing new experiences and from continued growth.  Staying in your comfort zone without learning to step outside of it (even just a tiny baby step) will cause your life to become stagnate.  Hmmm…what will that do your relationship? 
Imagine a beautiful flowing stream always moving and changing when the need arises.  Hear the gentle trickle and smell the fresh air. Now imagine a stagnant pool of water with debris piled up in it.  No pleasant sounds of moving water and a nasty stench to boot.  Would you prefer to continue gently flowing into the unknown or stay stagnate and backed-up? 

Put It All Together
Get in touch with you.  Truly know your own soul.  Dive deep into whom your partner/lover/spouse is and whom he/she becomes as you continue your path together.  Communicate on numerous levels.  Talk to your lover, but be aware of your other forms of communication – body language, eye contact, and much more.  Be playful and bring more laughter into your lives.  Intentionally and willingly step outside of your comfort zone so that you continue to learn and experience new things. 

These are simple ways to not only reignite your passion for your relationship, but for your life.  When passion and deep intimacy is sustained in your romantic relationship, your relationship will be stronger and more beautiful than you may ever have imagined. 

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. - Spiritual Teacher
Rob Alex, M.Sc. - Author or Sexy Challenges/Sacred Sensual Teacher
Copyright 2013


Thursday, August 19, 2010

New Sexy Challenge will give you cold chills


Part of every good relationship is a exciting sex life. However some people are just to ashamed or embarrassed to ask for improvement or excitement. That is where SEXY CHALLENGES comes into play. Sexy Challenges are little adventures for lovers aimed at spicing up your sex life and your communication. Each challenges gives you a specific task to complete and a two week time frame to complete the challenge. You will soon find yourself anxiously awaiting the next issue to come out. Click on the post title above or the link below to check out the newest sexy challenge. You won't be disappointed.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Share your feelings


Here is a little hint for you no matter where you are in your relationship. Share your feelings, it's that simple. If something bothers you then let your partner know about it. Don't just tell them about feelings about your relationship, use this outlet to express your feelings about all factors in your life. Work, children, education, no matter what the area let your feelings be known, even if you agree with the topic let it out. This is a great practice to get into as it opens up the lines of communication. Once you are in flow of this you won't even hesitate to share your feelings as they happen, and if you don't let your feelings fester then you might see an improvement in not only your relationship but your life in general.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Feeling comfortable


Feeling comfortable in a relationship is one of the most under rated feelings that people miss out on. We go into relationship trying to be the perfect person and making the person we are trying to attract think that we don't have any flaws. In doing this we set ourself up to not be as comfortable in the beginning as we would like to be. We live under these false pretenses believing that we can keep it up the through out the relationship. Finally as some point you have to break down and show that you are not this perfect person that you have been trying to convince your partner you are. When you feel comfortable in your relationship this isn't hard, you have open communication and it is easy to express your feelings and admit your problems. On the other hand if you are uncomfortable with the communication admitting these issues is a bit more hard. My suggestion to anyone getting into a relationship is to be as close to yourself as you can and make sure the person you are trying to attract likes the real you. You don't what them to find out down the road of issues that might make your relationship tense. Relax as you go out on those first few dates and show your new flame how you really are, not only will they appreciate it but you can rest assured that you won't have to live behind a mask.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Great Listening tool!


We have talked and will continue to talk about ways to improve your ability to converse with your partner. Communication is and always will be the foundation of your relationship. With that in mind I came across a method of communication that improves your listening skills. The IMAGO method of conversing is a great way to really hear what your partner is saying, and it is totally simple. What you do is basically repeat what your partner is saying when they want to speak to you about an issue they are having in your relationship. Simply put you quietly listen to what your partner has to say and then you repeat it. You don't comment on it or interrupt while they are talking you just listen and repeat. Sounds to simple to work doesn't it. I suggest you try it sometime it truly is an amazing way to hear and understand the message. Have you partner make sure you repeat the message exactly as they did so you get the full effect. Number one with you speaking this concern you hear it in a different manner and it registers better in your head and by not addressing or speaking on the issue it gives you time to think about what they and you are saying. For more on this topic click on the title of this post and learn in more detail how the IMAGO method can help your relationship. You can also pick up the book "Getting the love you want" or "Getting the sex you want" for a more detailed instruction on the subject.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Romance is open minded.


If there is one thing that I know for a fact, it is that romance is open minded. Romance has to stay open and new at all times. You can only give flowers so many time and if you got flowers everyday you would likely get sick of getting them. So, to keep romance fresh and new you have to continually open to new and exciting ways to romance your mate. Sure there are things that you might not be comfortable with and you can choose to stay away from those things. However when you want to branch out and find something new way to be romantic you have to get out of your comfort zone a little. For instance if you always go to a Italian restaurant when you go out to eat deciding to go to a Thai restaurant would make you a little uncomfortable. Same can be said for more intimate activities, so many people are against anal play but some people really enjoy the thrill of it. The most important part is not to judge anything your partner might want to try be open and keep the communication flowing before and after the event. If you have stomach problems then Thai might not agree with you but you will not know for sure until you try it. Same for sexual issues, unless you try it then you don't know for sure that it does feel good. However if you are totally against something you should speak up and express that to your mate. If you go into it with a closed mind you will not be comfortable and not give it a fair chance. So sometimes you have to put these types of things on the back burner or find alternatives. For instance if you are against swinging and your partner wants to try it maybe purchasing some wigs or fake mustaches will help them get into their romance while not crossing your boundaries. Again it all goes back to communication, some of the off the wall things that I have tried it took me a while to work up asking for but when I did I was amazed at how well they were received. Romance and love are wonderful things but you can't expect them to stay fresh and exciting on their own, you have to put the effort and communication into them.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Want something sexy and cute to say or send to your partner?

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?"-Bette Midler

We all now that communication is the key to any good relationship. Blah, blah, blah we have heard it so many times that we are thinking of getting it tattooed on our arms. However I think romantic humor is also very important. Does you partner have to be serious whenever you discuss your love life? You know sex is suppose to be fun, exciting, passionate, hot, and a lot of other adjectives, but no where does anyone say it has to be serious. Can you have serious sex? Think about it for a moment and even if you try I bet you would bust up laughing. Some of the best sex I have ever had as ended up with us both lying their exhausted and laughing. If you click here http://www.verses4cards.co.uk/funny-sexy-quotes.html then you will be taken to a website that has funny sexy quotes by some famous and some not so famous people ( or you can click on the title of this post). Use these on your partner at times they need a little giggle. Text them to each other during the day and maybe it will get minds thinking and heat up your night.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Read a book together.


We all know that reading is an enjoyable past time and can also be educational. Here is something you might not have tried before. Both of your read the same book? Sound crazy, maybe a little. Think of this if both of you are ready the same book it will give you something to talk about or even debate about. You can take turns reading the same book, because reading at the same time is difficult. Most likely one partner reads a little faster then the other. Another option is to buy one book and pick up a copy at the library also. You can read anything from fiction to a self help book the content doesn't matter as long as it appeals to both of you. Find a quite place to read and then after some time discuss what you have read with each other. Express your views on the book and what you find interesting about it then let your partner do the same.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Yes I am Horny


Okay you are in a relationship or if your not this information can be helpful later. We have heard it a hundred times about how important communication is in a relationship. Well they are usually talking about everyday life and things that upset you that your partner does. Well you need to let your partner know also about your sexual feelings. You know when you would really like to jump their bones, or shower with them, or anything that might strike your fancy. Now this doesn't mean they have to oblige you right away. Sex is a two way street and both partner need to be in the mood. However, you can let your partner know what turns you on or something you would like to try without fear of being called a pervert. Like I said earlier this is a two way street and if your partner is not letting you know about their feelings then you are getting short changed. Take a bold move and tell your lover you would like them to be more aggressive. There are going to be somethings that they are not comfortable with and you have to understand that, however you can compromise on about anything. In closing I just want to say it is okay to tell your partner you are horny or excited, just don't get upset if they are not in the mood to reciprocate your feelings at the current time. Remember also when they let their feeling be known that they are speaking form their desires.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Communication 101



Communication 101 We all hear that communication is one of the most important things in a relationship. I don't think anyone can debate that. However, what if you are not the best talker or you have to think your feelings out before you say them? You partner thinks you are just being silent. Yet, you are trying not to say the wrong thing. If one partner is used to speaking his/her mind, it is hard for the other to get his/her feelings out. Most often what happens is the easy speaking partner will jump into the conversation before the less assertive partner finishes his/her thought.




To communicate when this is the problem takes effort on both of the people in the relationship. The more timid speaker of the two has to get his/her courage up and his/her in order before speaking, and the more assertive speaker has to back off a little and let the other partner speak at his/her own speed. Still, even at best there will still be some communication problems. Some things I might suggest to help with communication are as follows. First, try sitting back to back when you need to have a heated discussion. Sit with your backs touching, this at least gives both of you some comfort as touch is another important part of a relationship. Some people will be able to speak more from the heart when not having someone staring at him/her waiting for a reply. If sitting back to back doesn't work, you might try to write your conversation out or since we live in modern times text each other or instant message each other from another room. Something about conversing over the Internet gives people freedom from their fears of speaking. But, also be cautious of texting or emailing as one’s tone cannot be understood via written words.




If neither one of these ideas work, you can as a last resort try a mediator. If you have a close mutual friend you feel comfortable with, let him/her sit in on your communication or you can even get a counselor that can referee your conversations. I only suggest counseling if you issues are threatening your relationship. In closing, remember that words can hurt just as much as physical pain – often times more. If you never have kind words to express to your partner, he/she will feel less of a person and it could spin your relationship towards trouble.




If you need more help or assistance finding communication help, get online and do some searching. I really like a gentleman that goes by the title "The Tower of Power". Joshua Uebergang is his real name, and you can find his web site at http://www.towerofpower.com.au/.


Image from flickr and Indrasensi