Showing posts with label tool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tool. Show all posts

Monday, February 8, 2010

When is the last time you really checked to see how much your partner does for you!


As in most relationships, we tend to expect the normal routine from our partner. If they do the laundry we expect that they will do it all the time, if they make dinner we are at the table with silverware in hand ready to eat. The only time we acknowledge our partner in this regard is when they don't help out in the normal way. Then our reaction is usually one of anger accompanied by yelling or unkind words. Are you one of those people that expect your partner to do things, how often do you thank them for the things they do to help out your relationship or family. I am sure that most of us can do a better job in the appreciation category. There are many ways to thank your mate for the things they do and they can be very simple. Things like do you wait on them to sit down before you start eating dinner, or saying, "Wow, the house looks great you must have spend hours cleaning it", or you can even just kiss them and say that is for the clean socks honey. Mix it up a little and go over the top from time to time to show them that you really do appreciate it. Do things like while eating a wonderful dinner they made slip them a note that says "This dinner is so good, I think I will make hot passionate love to you later tonight as a tip" or maybe after doing gardening or yard work you can get them in a shower and wash their hair for them. Showing appreciation is a lot form of art in relationships today and it is up to us to help bring it back to the forefront. Next time your partner takes care of the kids so you can nap, offer to give them a massage later in return, or if they have to miss work to take care of your sick child tell them to call up some friends and have a lunch date this weekend. Relationships are about helping each other out, not helping ourselves. Love is a powerful tool if used correctly, and appreciation in part of that power.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Great Listening tool!


We have talked and will continue to talk about ways to improve your ability to converse with your partner. Communication is and always will be the foundation of your relationship. With that in mind I came across a method of communication that improves your listening skills. The IMAGO method of conversing is a great way to really hear what your partner is saying, and it is totally simple. What you do is basically repeat what your partner is saying when they want to speak to you about an issue they are having in your relationship. Simply put you quietly listen to what your partner has to say and then you repeat it. You don't comment on it or interrupt while they are talking you just listen and repeat. Sounds to simple to work doesn't it. I suggest you try it sometime it truly is an amazing way to hear and understand the message. Have you partner make sure you repeat the message exactly as they did so you get the full effect. Number one with you speaking this concern you hear it in a different manner and it registers better in your head and by not addressing or speaking on the issue it gives you time to think about what they and you are saying. For more on this topic click on the title of this post and learn in more detail how the IMAGO method can help your relationship. You can also pick up the book "Getting the love you want" or "Getting the sex you want" for a more detailed instruction on the subject.