Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sometimes you just need to listen, and not speak


Have you ever had a really bad day and just needed to vent. You don't want to be consoled or babied and the last thing you want is to be cuddled. You just want to scream and let it all out. When you partner feels this way you need to pick up on it as soon as you can and then become what I consider the tackling dummy. Let them let it all out, don't judge, don't offer opinions just stand or sit there and listen. Listen with your heart and pay attention, only offer any words if they ask you for them. Nod your head, reach out and touch them but don't tell them they are wrong or that you would have handled it differently because that is not what they need right now. They need to get that negative energy out of their body and venting is the way to do that. It might take all night to get it out but when it is your turn they will be there for you.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Great Listening tool!


We have talked and will continue to talk about ways to improve your ability to converse with your partner. Communication is and always will be the foundation of your relationship. With that in mind I came across a method of communication that improves your listening skills. The IMAGO method of conversing is a great way to really hear what your partner is saying, and it is totally simple. What you do is basically repeat what your partner is saying when they want to speak to you about an issue they are having in your relationship. Simply put you quietly listen to what your partner has to say and then you repeat it. You don't comment on it or interrupt while they are talking you just listen and repeat. Sounds to simple to work doesn't it. I suggest you try it sometime it truly is an amazing way to hear and understand the message. Have you partner make sure you repeat the message exactly as they did so you get the full effect. Number one with you speaking this concern you hear it in a different manner and it registers better in your head and by not addressing or speaking on the issue it gives you time to think about what they and you are saying. For more on this topic click on the title of this post and learn in more detail how the IMAGO method can help your relationship. You can also pick up the book "Getting the love you want" or "Getting the sex you want" for a more detailed instruction on the subject.