How to Not Lose Touch With Your Sweetie

It is so easy to lose touch with your beloved partner.  In these modern times, it has become easier and easier to tune in to the television, your computer, your phone or your iPad.  This means you are tuning out from your sweetheart and your intimate relationship.  It may not seem so at first, but eventually, even being turned on by your lover will wane and become second to today’s media and digital gadgets and other things you fill your life with.  It is vital to stay tuned in to your relationship and to your partner so that you stay turned on by them too!  Only then can you work towards experiencing a long-lasting committed relationship filled with love and trust.   

Relationships are actually spiritual paths for each of us.  Your romantic intimate relationship is the most profound of all.  It will offer you a mirror for your deepest emotions, expressions, neurotic patterns (we ALL have them), love, compassion, and humor to be reflected back to you in some fashion.  

So, how can you reignite intimacy and sensual pleasure in your relationship?  And, if you still have it, how can you take it to the next level?

A Quick Note About Sensuality vs. Sexuality

More often than not if someone says to you, “That was a sensual delight.”  Your mind will instantly think “sex”.  But, sensual pleasure is really about gratifying the senses – all of them – not just the five physical ones.  You don’t have to involve physical lovemaking to experience your sensuality.  Delighting in the sight of your lover, hearing his/her laugh, smelling a special cologne, holding hands or sharing a massage, or tasting his/her lips are sensual experiences.  Connecting to your own soul, your lover’s soul, and your spirituality is also very sensual. 

Know YOU – Get Connected to Your Own Soul

Getting in touch with yourself, with your soul is the first step in reigniting or upleveling your intimate and sensual pleasure in life and in your relationship.  If you aren’t aware of your spirituality, simply focus on getting in touch with YOU.  Whatever or whoever you are to you. 

The easiest and quickest way to reconnect with your soul is by first recognizing those things in your life that simply light you up inside.  They feel like they are the wind in your sails.  These things can be anything: drumming; singing; teaching; hiking; swimming; dancing; laughing; making love; cooking; gardening; cycling; etc.  There is no right or wrong.  Only you have the answer to what makes you feel this way.  The second step is to make sure you have some of these unique-to-you things in your life daily, weekly, monthly.  Bring them in to your life as often as you can.

You will be happier and this happiness will feed into your relationship.  Share these joys with your lover.

Know Your Sweetheart – Connect to His/Her Soul

This will take your relationship to a deeper level.  Once you (re)connect with your soul – yourself, it is vital that you connect with your sweetheart in a similar way.  What makes him/her light up?  How can you support that and bring more of that into your lives?  If both of you do this and then share it together, you will discover a beautiful aspect of your relationship that you may not have been aware of before.   

Communicate

Communication is key to every single aspect of your relationship.  Yet, not everyone communicates in the same way.  You may be able to talk about your joys, your sorrows, what happened at work today, what the dog did to irritate you, what your best friend posted on your Facebook wall and what is upsetting you in your relationship.  But, your lover may not be able to easily talk about these things.  We can express our feelings through ways other than verbal communication.  It may come through singing, painting, or drawing.  Of course, one of the biggest ways to communicate is through body language.  Be fully present and truly pay attention to your lover.  Listen – deeply – to what he/she may say.  Observe his/her actions or reactions.  There are clues and often, clear messages even if the two of you communicate very differently.

Share Laughter and Play Together      

Don’t take life or yourself too seriously.  Yes, of course, there are very serious aspects, but letting go and goofing around, laughing and being playful is a huge key to happiness and feeling joyful.  This will deepen the closeness between the two of you, which will ultimately help you enhance your sensuality overall. 

Laugh at the dinner table.  Laugh while brushing your teeth.  Laugh throughout your day anywhere and everywhere that you can.  And, for God’s sake, laugh in the bedroom!

Share inside jokes with each other.  Maybe they will relate to a funny bedroom experience or something completely different, but they will be your little secret.  People will envy your closeness.  Allow yourselves to be like two young lovebirds giggling and whispering.

Sharing more laughter with each other and deepening your intimate bond will open a doorway for the two of you to experience powerful, playful passion all day long.  You will be able to feel it pretty much everyday.  Draw upon it when something gets you down or something causes you stress. 

Continue to Learn and Grow Together

Continually seek new things to learn.  You can take classes together or pick up a new hobby together.  Yet, be bold enough to have new experiences individually, too.  By honoring and respecting your lover’s individuality you are helping the two of you grow.  You need to honor and respect YOU, your lover, and your relationship.  You are teammates, but you don’t need to stay attached at the hip all the time either. 

Step outside your comfort zone.  Oh boy, this is a big one!  You can’t grow and sustain a beautiful relationship if you refuse to step outside of your comfort zone.  If you allow fear (fear of failing, fear of rejection, fear of looking like an idiot, fear of???) to keep you within in the boundaries of what you know already, then you prevent yourself from the potentiality of amazing new experiences and from continued growth.  Staying in your comfort zone without learning to step outside of it (even just a tiny baby step) will cause your life to become stagnate.  Hmmm…what will that do your relationship? 

Imagine a beautiful flowing stream always moving and changing when the need arises.  Hear the gentle trickle and smell the fresh air. Now imagine a stagnant pool of water with debris piled up in it.  No pleasant sounds of moving water and a nasty stench to boot.  Would you prefer to continue gently flowing into the unknown or stay stagnate and backed-up? 

Put It All Together

Get in touch with you.  Truly know your own soul.  Dive deep into whom your partner/lover/spouse is and whom he/she becomes as you continue your path together.  Communicate on numerous levels.  Talk to your lover, but be aware of your other forms of communication – body language, eye contact, and much more.  Be playful and bring more laughter into your lives.  Intentionally and willingly step outside of your comfort zone so that you continue to learn and experience new things. 

These are simple ways to not only reignite your passion for your relationship, but for your life.  When passion and deep intimacy is sustained in your romantic relationship, your relationship will be stronger and more beautiful than you may ever have imagined. 

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. - Spiritual Teacher

Rob Alex, M.Sc. - Author or Sexy Challenges/Sacred Sensual Teacher

Copyright 2013

Do something to get your lovers attention.

Today is a great day to do something to get your lovers attention. Well everyday is a good day for this, but today we are going to do it a little more wild. We are going to make them have to touch you in places that we hope will spark a little more intimate touching later. What you need to do is get a personal item of theirs that you know they will need. Such as their car keys, purse, or even the clothes they are getting ready to put on are good items to start with. Next you are going to place these items near a place on your body that would be a little more intimate to touch. For instance you could have the remote to the television tucked between your legs near you crotch area. Then when they need the item make them come and get it. When their hand reaches for the item make sure to move so that they have to touch you in the intimate area and see how they react to that. Men you can put things in your front pockets and make your partner dig for the item hopefully hitting all the right areas. Ladies you can put money in your bra for when you partner asks for a little cash, go ahead and let them search around your bra for it. Hold thing behind your back and make them have to reach around you to get it then wrap them up in a hug as they do. The possibilities are endless to be creative like the picture above you might be able to get your partner to switch their beer to buttwiser. Sorry couldn't resist the joke. Have fun and get it on.

Don't be afraid of sex toys!

Romance happens all around us and yet we still want to ignore some pretty obvious part of romance. While intimacy isn't all romance it is a part of it and I am amazed at the number of people that have never tried any sex toys to enhance the experience. At least people are talking about them more often and the sex toy industry is booming so things are getting better. It is also easier to get these items one of my favorite is Eden Fantasy's and you can use my advertisement at the side to purchase some great items from them. Experiment a little an find just the right one you need, get something for beginners or more advanced if you are! Quite being shy about it. It is natural and wonderful so enjoy and have fun.

Book Suggestion : TANTRIC SEX FOR BUSY COUPLES

We all want to get closer and be more connected with each other. However in this day and age our lives seem to be spinning out of control. Tantric Sex for Busy Couples by Diana Daffner, M.A., offers a solution to the lack of time it seem we all have. Giving you quick way to deepen your passion while learning to understand each other and your feelings better. This is not a full fledged devotion to Tantric practices but it does give you some great help in getting closer and also for letting you know if you are interested in diving in deeper to Tantric Sex. I would suggest this book to any couple that might not be connecting as well as they should, heck I would suggest this to any couple it is fun and gets the two of you closer. Nothing wrong with that!

The slightest touch can mean so much.

Touch is one of the things that most people desire. We want to feel that warmth of another human being putting their hands on us. The touch of a child is also very therapeutic with in their innocents. Even the slightest touches can mean so much to your partner. Think about how comforting the simplest of touches can be. When you touch feet in bed at night says I am here for you. The touches that just happen without warning like when you just brush each other as you pass. The soft caress on your arm as you are sitting together. The tingles that are sent up and down your body with the excitement of these touches is a joy that everyone should feel. Brushing away your partners hair as you look in their eyes or even just the touch of when you have to get something in front of them, says so much in a relationship. You hands are a wonderful tool for showing and expressing your love, so touch and enjoy.

Listen to the sound of the falling rain.

One of my most favorite things to do is sit somewhere with my love outside when it is raining. A porch or a deck that is covered are wonderful. I feel so relaxed and wonderful with the sound of the rain falling. It is one of the best times to have a heart to heart talk or just some great conversation. Rain and or water is the beginning of life and it really sets the tone for great talks. Not only talking for me but being intimate when it is raining outside is a real turn on. Take some time during the next rain shower and see what I mean.

Birthday Surprise!

Today is my birthday and I love being the center of attention. From a romance position today I want the romance focused on me! Sounds a little selfish, but you only have one birthday a year and it is okay to wish for your desires. If it is your partner that is having the birthday you can use romance to make it their best birthday ever. There are lots of things you can do and if your short on cash romance can cost nothing but get better results then an expensive present. Make their birthday an all day romance event. Wake them up with sexy caresses, and if they are in the mood start with a little morning sex, offer to make them breakfast or take them out for breakfast to get their birthday morning started out right. If they have to go to work keep the fire burning by slipping notes in their pockets or sending them sexy text messages to let them know their birthday is going to be a hot time. You can then either make dinner, or go out, making sure to have some sort of cake. You can put a candle in a Twinkie if you like after all it's the thought that counts. Once home if you got them a present let them unwrap it. The it is time for them to unwrap their best present. Ladies find something sexy to wear, men slip into silky boxers and over to give them a massage. Tantalize but avoid the erogenous zones until later. Once you get them warmed up with the massage time to submit to their desires. Ask them what they want sexually and unless it is totally out of your comfort zone give it a try. All of these things will combine to form the best present they have ever had. Heck you can keep this up all night after all it is a celebration.

Mirrors can be sexy

Have you ever used mirrors to help your romantic side? Simple placement of mirrors can create a different environment. Place mirrors around you house to add effects. Place mirrors to get views of the outside when you are darker corners of your house. You can also place mirrors around to give your place the appearance of a larger space. Mirrors in the bathroom are usually a staple but for added effect place one on the opposite side so you can see your back. This will help when you need to know if your butt looks big in those jeans. Mirrors in the bedroom can add intimacy as long as they are not overdone. Mirrors on the ceiling are a little over done unless you have been in a relationship for a long time, avoid them. Place them around the room to give you a different look at your bed and to help set a more intimate vision to the beholder. A word of caution however, too many mirrors in the bedroom becomes creepy. By using the mirrors in the correct way you will help to make your place a more cheerful place, which in turn make your partner feel more cheery.

Romance is open minded.

If there is one thing that I know for a fact, it is that romance is open minded. Romance has to stay open and new at all times. You can only give flowers so many time and if you got flowers everyday you would likely get sick of getting them. So, to keep romance fresh and new you have to continually open to new and exciting ways to romance your mate. Sure there are things that you might not be comfortable with and you can choose to stay away from those things. However when you want to branch out and find something new way to be romantic you have to get out of your comfort zone a little. For instance if you always go to a Italian restaurant when you go out to eat deciding to go to a Thai restaurant would make you a little uncomfortable. Same can be said for more intimate activities, so many people are against anal play but some people really enjoy the thrill of it. The most important part is not to judge anything your partner might want to try be open and keep the communication flowing before and after the event. If you have stomach problems then Thai might not agree with you but you will not know for sure until you try it. Same for sexual issues, unless you try it then you don't know for sure that it does feel good. However if you are totally against something you should speak up and express that to your mate. If you go into it with a closed mind you will not be comfortable and not give it a fair chance. So sometimes you have to put these types of things on the back burner or find alternatives. For instance if you are against swinging and your partner wants to try it maybe purchasing some wigs or fake mustaches will help them get into their romance while not crossing your boundaries. Again it all goes back to communication, some of the off the wall things that I have tried it took me a while to work up asking for but when I did I was amazed at how well they were received. Romance and love are wonderful things but you can't expect them to stay fresh and exciting on their own, you have to put the effort and communication into them.

Say her name... or his if the case maybe.

Will all get in the habit of calling our partner something other then their name. You know we posted just the other day about pet names. Nothing makes us feel more complete with our partner then hearing them say our name. Just in everyday life use their name more often. Don't answer you phone "Hey babe" or say "Sweetie can you get me a drink." Take one day and try to use their name every time you address them. My theory on this is that we want to know are partner is in touch with us. Not using a slang term like sweetie or baby that could be used for anyone, will make your partner feel you are personalizing every statement.

Not only should you practice this in everyday life, you should also use it in your intimate life. It drives me nuts to hear my name as my partner reaches orgasm. I know that one is a little tough but instead honey, baby, or calling out to god, use your partners name and tell them what is happening. I believe that this only makes your sex life better. Practice it when you masturbate with your partner just as your about to climax, scream out their name. See what kind of reaction that gets out of them.

Put some heart into your yard work! (Click here to find out how to mow patterns in your yard)

Next time your lawn needs mowing try this little trick to tell your sweetie how much you love her. Section out your yard to mow a design into it. Let you grass get a little higher and then will your sweetie is not looking plan out your design. You could do her name, a big heart, or just a little hello. Do it before you do the rest of the lawn so you can get rid of it by mowing the rest of the lawn. For the best vantage point of your artwork look at it from a second story window. Your partner will fell special that you have done this for her/him. Most likely they will want you to erase it quickly but the thought was nice.

For the really way to design patterns in your yard, click on the title of this post to see a video on how it is done.

Send her some Panties - (click here for a Panty of the Month Club)

If you relationship has reached an intimate level, here is a suggestion that might put more of the intimate into your relationship. I want you to get some sexy panties and send them via the mail to your partner. I know what you are thinking, "She will think I'm a stalker." Again this is not for a new relationship but one that is established. Hopefully if you are in an established relationship you have seen her in her panties. Make sure you get the size right and use a standard mailing envelope as it won't tip her off before she opens the surprise. Wait until she says something about the package, don't tip her off before she has a change to open this present. Don't be so excited that you ask her a hundred times "Did you get anything special in the mail?" If all works right, she should be showing you what she received in the mail and that will for sure put a smile on your face. You can include a small note if you like saying something cute like "I thought you would look good in these." or "These didn't fit me so I thought you might like them." Be witty and funny with your note and don't put any demands on the letter like "I want to see you in these tonight" Let her tell you all about her special package.

Now if your short on time or a little nervous purchasing women's underwear. Then you can use a mail order company and get the same results. There are many companies that will send your honey a pair of panties a month, and several of them you can personalize a note to be put inside the package. These sites usually present you panties in a very special way, but you pay for that. So if your budget is smaller do it yourself. I have put a link to a pantie of the month site in the title of this post. You can also go to Victoria's Secret to find some of the best panties made, believe me your special lady will love them and so will you.