How many times is to many times to say I love you?

A debate about how many times is the perfect amount of times to say I love you during a day. Some people would say that 1 time is enough a day, while others need those words more as it gives them support and encouragement. I do believe that there is not certain answer to this equation. Everyone is different, however the trick to this is finding the balance between the two individuals. In this matter you need to find a place where it doesn't annoy one partner but is enough for the other partner. The only way to do this is through a little trail and error. Which ever person you are in the relationship you need to either add or subtract the number of times you tell your partner you love them. Continue to do this each day until your partner no longer rolls their eyes at this or in the other case stops pumping your for more. Once you find that medium then stick with it and you can put this debate to bed.

Debate.

Some of the greatest and most passionate conversations I have ever had during my relationships is when the two of us have debated an issue. I love trying to get my point acrossed to the my partner and I enjoy listening to their side. Debates are fun because they are a controlled argument. You may not agree with the other persons view but you don't get upset with them. Some great topics to discuss are the economy, health, spirituality, and sex. They allow you to express yourself and talk in a manner of calmness. Here is what I like to do crack open a bottle of wine and just sit on the deck or porch and talk til the wee hours of the morning. I love it because I get to experience someone else's point of view and sometime that special lady in my life has swayed me to her side. It is a form of education if you will and all you have to do is look on the Internet for something to debate about. Give it a try tonight I believe it can bring you closer together as a couple and gives your partner a little more insight into you.

Read a book together.

We all know that reading is an enjoyable past time and can also be educational. Here is something you might not have tried before. Both of your read the same book? Sound crazy, maybe a little. Think of this if both of you are ready the same book it will give you something to talk about or even debate about. You can take turns reading the same book, because reading at the same time is difficult. Most likely one partner reads a little faster then the other. Another option is to buy one book and pick up a copy at the library also. You can read anything from fiction to a self help book the content doesn't matter as long as it appeals to both of you. Find a quite place to read and then after some time discuss what you have read with each other. Express your views on the book and what you find interesting about it then let your partner do the same.

Arguments, yes they are OKAY!

Differences in a relationship are normal and healthy! They are not road blocks. They are what makes him, himself and her, herself. Look at all the couples you know, even the ones you think are exactly the same, and I bet if you look hard enough you will see differences. For example, a couple might love to go to art museums together, but they might not enjoy the exact same type of art, and that is okay. These differences allow us to communicate, debate, and even argue. If we were both the same our conversations would be boring. We would both just say things like "Ya, I like that too." There would never be any questions. So these differences keep us sane in my opinion.

I love to debate things. Listening to others opinions and then giving your opinions is a wonderful tool for getting to know someone even if you have been married to that person for 50 years. You can always learn something new about a person. My personal opinion is that the best relationships happen because the two people involved understand they are going to have different opinions, and they don't love each other any less because of them. Arguments are going to happen from time to time in a relationship, but the one thing I feel is important is before the argument ends both parties say I understand you have a different opinion, but I still love you. Always try to see the other person’s point of view, even if you think it is wrong. Sometimes in my experiences it seems like we go through stages where we can't agree on anything and it seems like we just take the opposite side just to aggravate our partner. But, if you look closely you see that isn't necessarily the case. When you take two individuals and make them a couple people assume that they must be a perfect match. The perfect match comes from the understanding of each other not from liking the same things.

When you truly love someone you understand what is important to them, and if that is what makes them happy, you just roll with it. Now take a look at your relationship. Spot the differences in the two of you. Write them down. Put her likes and his likes down on the paper. Look at the other person’s likes, and circle the ones you have interest in. Put an “X” by the ones you have no interest in at all. Both of you study the list, take a step back and then debate things. For example, he wants to go to the baseball game and you have put an x by that. Well that would be a great thing for him to do with his buddies. Okay now, look on your list for his Xs, and find one that you could do with your friends. Bingo! You do that one while he is at the game with his buds. Here is the important part - find one on either list that is circled. Obviously this is one that you both enjoy. Either the next day or even that evening make sure the two of you have time to share that experience.

Lastly, don't be afraid to argue. It is not the end of your relationship. It is just a heated debate. If you have to fear losing someone because you disagree, then maybe you should rethink your relationship anyway. Even when you are in an argument you should never go to bed mad at each other. Snuggle up and remember why you love this person. You may resume the argument in the morning, but while you are in bed forget about it.