Tuesday, October 1, 2013

She Got a New Job...You Don't Want to Move


How to Help Your Partner Deal With an Unwanted Move


Sometimes, one person in a marriage gets an opportunity in another city, state or even country that can cause strife in the partnership. Perhaps the other person will be expected to move with the spouse and away from friends and family. This kind of scenario can be hard on the relationship and can sometimes even lead to the destruction of it. However, if you and your spouse are committed to making the move, even if one person is not looking forward to it, you can get through the change and be stronger in the end.
The most important thing to realize is that you should never make the decision to move without your partner's knowing. You can't just hire the movers and expect your spouse to be on board with it when the moving truck pulls into the driveway to move your things. It is critical for you to begin the discussion of moving as soon as you realize the opportunity is there. All decisions related to the move, if in fact, the decision to move is made, should be made together. From the movers you pick to the actual moving day.
You might need to get outside help to assist you and your spouse through the difficult moving process. For example, if you have a great job waiting for you in your new location, but your spouse is going to be jobless when you move, it is wise to contact a career counselor before the move is made to find out what your partner can do to make the transition easier. If your spouse can get a job in the new location as well, it might make him or her feel better about the change.
If you decide that only one of you needs a job in the new location, you might want to help your spouse get involved in local organizations, clubs or educational opportunities to help him or her integrate into the new community as quickly as possible. Almost all cities have local colleges or recreation centers that offer classes and other organized activities, which can help your spouse feel more at home more quickly.
Finally, if your spouse is completely unhappy with the move and you really feel like the change could tear your relationship apart, it might not be the opportunity you thought it was. Sometimes, the move you don't make could be the right decision after all.
John is a shrewd consumer who writes about personal finance, finding deals, and local consumer home services like: movers Dallas and local movers Chicago.
Photo credit: iowahouse.org

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