Can you believe we have hit 60 Post! / The Mindful Couple (Click here to see the book)

You know you are enjoying yourself when you are doing something and you don't realize how long you have been doing it. Our last post was our 60th I am very proud of what we are doing here. We are hopefully helping couples learn and understand each other better. I try to reach a broad area of topics from dating to sex, household chores to nights on the town. I do this because they all make up a great relationship. You can't just have sex all the time and have a great relationship, however in my opinion you can't have a great relationship with it either. My take on relationships is they must have a balance, you need everything to make it complete. If there are any parts missing that is where you get into trouble.

I would like to suggest a book for everyone to ready called "The Mindful Couple" by Robyn D. Walsher, PHD and Darrah Westrup, PHD. This books is one of the best ones I have read on relationships. It doesn't give you step by step instructions it gives you insight into the workings of relationships. I must say I have looked at things a little differently since reading it. You can go to the publishers web site by clicking the title of this post and I will put it in the amazon bar on the side. So if you go and buy this book not only will you help out your relationship you will also be helping out Romantic Antics for Men (and Women, too)

Don't for Anniversaries or Birhtdays.

Just a note to everyone DON'T FORGET ANNIVERSARIES OR BIRTHDAYS. Nothing says I could care less about you then forgetting these important dates. Now a days you have no excuse for forgetting either. You can program it into your cell phone, computer, iPod, television, and even your alarm clocks. So there is absolutely no reason, with the exception of amnesia, for you to forget. You can only use the amnesia excuse once anyway. Now do whatever it takes to remember these events.

One a side note make sure you don't celebrate these events on the wrong day either. My mom once called me and sang Happy Birthday to me, when it was my sisters birthday. She was quick with an excuse though saying she miss dialed the phone. Good one mom. We get a good laugh about it now, however.

Remember these days are special for a reason. You need to put effort and time into them. I understand sometimes they don't fall at the best times. So that is when you have to let your partner know that you will be celebrating later. You don't have to spend a lot of money on these special occasions like the old adage "It's the thought that counts" Heck a card and a back rub works wonders.

Laugh Together!!! (Click her to go to ABC website to find funny stuff)

I know it sounds silly but the benefits of laughing are well documented. Yes laughing actually improves your health and helps you live longer. What better person then your partner to share some good belly laughs with. I would have to suggest America's Funniest Videos to get you started. If you can't find that on TV you might just go to YouTube and search for items the two of you would find funny. Items to search might include: people falling down, funny dogs or cats, or just type in funny and see what you get. Other sources could be look for comedy shows or search for old clips of things you know are funny.

Funny has been around for a long time, I mean look at some old Three Stooges videos. I am sure it was around even longer ago. I can imagine a caveman getting chased by a dinosaur and his buddies laughing at him.

A newer show that might bring about so laughs would be Wipe Out! If you have a favorite show that makes you laugh let me know about it. One thing I love to do is laugh so I should live forever.

The Double Date

Stop for a moment. I already hear you sighing, "Not a double date". I know all the feelings you’re going through. Maybe you can't stand her friends and she wants to strangle yours, and you don't want to waste an evening listening to either one of them. You don't want to be stuck without transportation, and what if you can't agree on anything to do. Well stop whining. First of all, both of you need your friends. This is very true, and maybe they won't make the best double date candidates. It is time to find some friends that fit with your relationship. Couples that have another couple that they are close to can make a special bond that might last a lifetime. Look around there might be a couple closer then you think that you would enjoy spending time with. Look for common interests. If you have children, look for parents of your children’s friends. They most likely will be close to your age, and obviously, if they take interest in their children, you will end up at a lot of the same functions.

When you find a couple that seems to fit the bill, ask them to do something in a group setting such as having a BBQ or joining you at a friend’s party. That way you can see if you get along outside of you other realms. Find something you can pair off with them and do. At a BBQ you might play ladder ball or horse shoes with the other couple to see how they interact with you. After spending some time with them get with your partner and see what she/he thinks about them. If both of you don't agree, then start over again looking for another couple to hang with. If you both seem to like spending some time with them then maybe it is time to see if they would like to go to dinner with you or to a local bar or coffee house. Find out about each other and what your likes and dislikes are. This will help you find something else you can do together sometime.

Having another couple you can count on is a big plus. If you get to know each other well, you could even help each other out in other ways - such as, taking turns watching the kids so you can have a night out. Maybe sometime you would need their help in an emergency situation. If you don't have any family around, they could keep an eye on your house while you were on vacation. Yes, the double date is a pain sometimes, but sometimes it can lead to a great relationship that will last a lifetime.

There are some web sites out now that match couples up to do things just like the dating sites, make sure you are extra careful if you want to use one. Make sure that everyone knows what you are expecting. You don't want to be sitting with a couple of swingers asking when you are going to swap unless you’re into that. If you have a couple that you are already friends with, you are lucky because they can be a great source of help no matter what you need them for. It's like having extra family around.

Today is Race Day!

Living here in Indiana everything today centers around the Indianapolis 500. So why not center our romance today around a race. Today you and your partner race at everything. Whether you are cleaning the house, riding bikes, or getting undressed for bed. Have a little fun and race at everything. You can race to see who eats their lunch the fastest or time yourself and see who takes the quickest shower. If you have a video game system find or rent on of the cart games and challenge each other to some racing fun. Competition is good for a relationship as long as it is in good fun. If you have to win every time then this competition thing is not for you. Well I will sign out for now, just tell me who wins!

Say her name... or his if the case maybe.

Will all get in the habit of calling our partner something other then their name. You know we posted just the other day about pet names. Nothing makes us feel more complete with our partner then hearing them say our name. Just in everyday life use their name more often. Don't answer you phone "Hey babe" or say "Sweetie can you get me a drink." Take one day and try to use their name every time you address them. My theory on this is that we want to know are partner is in touch with us. Not using a slang term like sweetie or baby that could be used for anyone, will make your partner feel you are personalizing every statement.

Not only should you practice this in everyday life, you should also use it in your intimate life. It drives me nuts to hear my name as my partner reaches orgasm. I know that one is a little tough but instead honey, baby, or calling out to god, use your partners name and tell them what is happening. I believe that this only makes your sex life better. Practice it when you masturbate with your partner just as your about to climax, scream out their name. See what kind of reaction that gets out of them.

Steamy Mirror Notes (click here to see a steamy application for the iphone)

Next time your lover is in the shower slip in a leave them a little note. It helps if they take an extremely hot shower. Use the mirror and write a note on it using the steam the shower has created. You have to be quick because if you do it to soon then the shower will steam it over. I suggest trying to time it to just when they shut the shower off. Slip out of the bathroom and you won't be able to see them smile as the read the message. You will however most likely be able to sense it.