Lover to Lover - a Wedding Poem

Lover to Lover

I do not know why or how or from where I love you

My heart and my soul merge with yours

Our consciousness expands and shares

Abundant love with Mother Earth and the Universe

As we bare our souls and spread our wings

We come together and create this union, this oneness

We stand strong as equal parts

Yet, it is not understood where one ends and the other begins

My arms promise you a safe and sacred space

I open my heart to you trusting and loving

I take your hand and you take mine

I touch your soul and you touch mine

Together we traverse the journey called life

And, so it is.

Copyright 2013 Janelle Alex, Ph.D.

*Written for a wedding ceremony

Photo credit: © AnnaPa - Fotolia.com

How to Deal With Cheating

Surviving an affair means among other things that you are paying for someone else's failure.

There will be plenty of work to be done after the extramarital relationship because due to your actions you've done a lot of damage to your marital relationship which is hanging by a strand

Yet after discussing the situation with your mate they have made up their mind to stick with you. That means there is a lot of hard work ahead regarding coping with infidelity. In spite of true love as well as effort there are no guarantees that life will ever get back to normal or even that the spousal relationship itself will carry on. Even so to ensure that it does move in the right direction and beyond you will need to be ready to agree to particular guidelines.

1. Stop The Dishonesty

No question fabrication was a huge part of your toolkit. Let's be perfectly frank you can't successfully carry on a marital affair without it.

Yet making it through an extramarital relationship means it must stop now if you want to get back your significant other's trust. Any kind of lie regardless of how small that gets found out is only going to wreck any attempt to repair the marital relationship. In case your mate catches you in a small white fib then most likely they may believe you're being misleading regarding other issues.

And please, none of that self-delusional nonsense. You lied to shield them or you didn't believe that it was an issue. All of it amounts to the very same thing which is you're returning to your old ways of deception which drove you to have an affair to begin with. The old saying telling the truth is still the best policy must be the foundation stone of your marriage when it relates to getting over cheating.

2. No Self-Pity

It may seem that all the profound changes in lifestyle you are forced to go through along with the monitoring system needed to keep track of your behavior is not in accordance what you did. So you begin to feel sorry for yourself. You even attempt to diminish what you did. Cheating on your mate was not so bad you tell yourself. Definitely not as compared to what you are forced to undergo at this juncture. 
Stop right there. You're not the victim here and pretending that you are is only going to block the healing. Step back and make the concerted effort to not concentrate on you. Instead concentrate on your mate and the way they feel. In surviving an affair rebuilding the spousal relationship is the work of both individuals but the person impacted the most is your spouse whom you cheated on.

3. You Are Not The Decider

You come to a time during this rehab phase and make a decision that things are back to what they used to be so you start slacking on a few things. Absolutely wrong. It is important to accept the fact you are likely to munch on humble pie for some time. Just how long is awhile? Until your mate determines. It's about them feeling better not you.

Overcoming an affair means they essentially are in charge of how things will go. Yes they need to obtain your suggestions from time to time but in the end it's up to them. You can easily check out how things are going on occasion but don't seek to hurry the process or try to mold your spouse into seeing things your way. To be frank you did enough manipulating while you were cheating.

4. Be Attentive

There are certainly likely to be times when your mate wishes to vent. It is oftentimes a very essential recovery activity for surviving cheating. That may entail they talk about what you did again and again. Be prepared to pay close attention regardless of how frequently they bring it up. You wounded them deeply so discussing it again and again is a method to work through the anguish.

Do not assume your spouse to talk about it several times and then feel 100% better. A lot of people have to attend therapy for many years to deal with overcoming unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness in a spousal relationship can ruin not only someone's self-esteem but destroy the psyche to the point all they can think about is what their mate did. It is an uncomfortable process you you placed them in so be ready whenever required to provide your undivided attention. by Daryl Campell Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/infidelity-articles/coping-with-infidelity-what-the-cheating-spouse-must-take-care-of-6750837.html Photo credit: familyfriendlypoems.com 

Virtual Wedding?

Oh, boy!  What if wedding officiants get replaced with a computer version?

Talk about impersonal!

Sexy Home/Marriage Repair

The Home Repair That Makes A Marriage Sexy

By Steven Schloss

Is the foundation of your marriage full of cracks?

Are you lacking the tools to fix what's broken?

If you are a "Do It Yourself" type of guy, don't the proper repairs result in increased value and appreciation?

Funny how these questions resonate as much with home repair as marriage!

You see, unhappy marriages are epidemic in our nation. Married men are miserable and frustrated with their wives and sex life. Divorce is at an all time high and second marriages have a divorce rate even higher than first timers. But it doesn't have to be this way. There are easy solutions to make your marriage as great as it can be.

Did you know that if you were to spend just a fraction of the attention that you focus on your projects and rechannel that attention to your wife, you would have a much better, and sexually fulfilling, marriage?

Truth is, you can make your wife happy by paying attention to her only 1% of your day and still have lots of time to work on your hobbies.

You see, after we get married, we forget to do the things we did for our wives when we dated. Remember how attentive you were to her? How you called her all the time, were thoughtful by remembering things she liked, and took her out to do fun things together? You even were happy to attack her "Honey Do" list!

But now, you are constantly looking for things to do that distract you from having to spend time with her. You have given up as things are not like they were in the good old days. You truly feel that you get more pleasure being alone and doing your projects.

But you know what? Your wife is starving, absolutely starving for your attention. She wants you to romance her and pay attention to her. But you have stopped! Yet you still expect just a little bit of attention right before bedtime to result in her wanting to jump your naked body!

Nope, you need to work at it, just like you need to invest time in your projects to see a great final product that provides satisfaction.

Start calling your wife endearing names like you used to. Take her out on a date and treat her like you did when you first met. Call her during the day and let her know that you miss her. Hold her hand when you walk down the street. Give her a back massage. And do all these things WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN!

You can't expect years of neglect to correct things overnight. It took years for that roof to fall apart. And it may take weeks to fix it. Think of your marriage as a home repair project. Make a plan, get organized, invest in the proper tools, do a little bit every day, and be proud of what you have done.

You won't believe the love and intimacy you receive from your wife by applying a similar planning and project completion strategy to your marriage.

~ Steve

Steve Schloss is an author, public speaker and men's relationship acceleration coach who offers one-on-one coaching to help men rejuvenate the fun and love in their marriage virtually overnight. A graduate of The University of Wisconsin with an MBA degree, his professional career in publishing and marketing includes 30 years in corporate America with assignments at Meredith, Hearst and SourceMedia. Steve currently lives in Princeton, NJ, has two grown children and is in a wonderfully loving relationship.

For more information about "The Man's Secret to a Happy and Sexy Marriage in Less than 10 Minutes a Day", please visithttp://www.mantomantalks.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Steven_Schloss

Photo credit: © evgenyatamanenko - Fotolia.com

Getting Married? Freedom or Ball and Chain?

A little humor for you today...

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
Groucho Marx 

Of course, you can create a wonderful marriage...it doesn't have to feel like being trapped or locked in.  :)

Photo credit: http://www.matchmakerintheknow.com

Unique, Sexy Body Jewelry As Christmas Gift

For thousands and thousands of years, people have adorned their bodies with temporary paint/staining, permanent ink/tattooing, rings, necklaces, bracelets and piercings/clips.  Why?  These display a message whether it is one of beauty and fashion or a message expressing the status of the individual.  Also, there are times that adorning the body is a way of honoring someone or something.  

These body adornments are often found to be sexy, too.  Belly rings/chains, ankle bracelets, and nipple rings are less common, but many find them very exciting and intriguing.  Yet, a lot of people are uncomfortable with the idea of permanently marking their bodies or being invasive using piercings.  

Of course, one can choose to wear bracelets, necklaces, rings and clip-on earrings - all of these are easily removable.  Then there are henna tattoos, which will keep you from undergoing those scary little needles and the permanence of the inked design.  If you like the idea of a belly ring or nose ring, you can always pick up some of those little stick-on jewels…cute and sexy.  But, what if you have some interest in going a little farther, but yet still not willing to pierce?  We recently heard about a super sexy and exciting way for women to adorn their nipples - no pain, only pleasure. And, these beautiful pieces of body jewelry actually give you a titillating little hug ;)  It's no wonder they are aptly named Nipple Huggers. 

Whether you choose to wear sexy clothes, beautiful lingerie, or nothing at all, adorning your body with tattoos and/or jewelry (permanent or not) is a fantastic way to spice things up.  When you choose the path of non-permanence then you leave yourself open to tons of options and can really change the way your body looks quite often…oooh, you will keep your partner wondering just what he/she is going to find the next time the two of you get naked together.  

And, here we are nearing the holiday gift giving season - this post has hopefully given you a naughty - yet extremely nice - idea for your lover's gift.  Even if you are the one wanting to have his/her body adorned you can buy the gift…give it to your lover with a note asking him/her to put it on your body…mmmm… ;) 

Enjoy a super sexy holiday season!  

Want to know more about Nipple Huggers?  

Check out these videos below and then visit their site www.nipple-huggers.com!

*This post was sponsored by www.nipple-huggers.com

Can Voodoo Be Sexy in Your Relationship?

Halloween is sneaking up on you.  Maybe it is time you shared a little unique intimate play with your sweetie? How about creating a Voodoo Love Doll?  The two of you can have a lot of fun with this. Voodoo Dolls are not really what you might think.

This Sexy Challenge will help you transform your concept of Voodoo into a passionate and loving experience.  Create and share a voodoo love doll with your sweetheart while discovering a unique and powerful connection between your souls.

Find many more great Sexy Challenges on Amazon, iTunes and at Barnes and Noble.  Also, listen to our free podcast, Sexy Challenge Heartbeats at iTunes or online.

Do Something Different Together & Make Dinner Easy This Time of Year

We recently started doing something new and different together.

What is is?  We decided to join BzzAgent.com.  It is really cool!

We get to try new stuff occasionally :)  Woo Hoo!

Recently we got to try Kroger Skillet Meals….

Seriously, this was a nice quick and easy option during this busy time

of the year.  Thanksgiving is nearly upon us and then the crazy holiday

season officially begins.  These will make for great last minute options!

Check them out for yourself!

Win FREE Sexy Challenge Mentoring!

We are offering you a chance to win FREE Mentoring with Drs. Janelle & Rob Alex!

Watch the video and find out more here…

Then simply click on the Win FREE Mentoring button at the top right!

On 11/16/13 the winning couple will be notified via email!

Does Love Really Stink?

Well, geesh, Granny!

Did life make you angry or break you heart? 

Granny sure seems to think love stinks.

You love her 

But she loves him

And he loves somebody else

You just can't win 

And so it goes

Till the day you die

This thing they call love 

It's gonna make you cry 

I've had the blues 

The reds and the pinks 

One thing for sure 

Love Stinks!

-J.Geils Band

What do you think?  Does love stink?  Or is it amazing?

Photo credit:  © giorgiomtb - Fotolia.com

Have you seen the October issue of The Couples' Spot: Relationship Advice for Couples.  It is FREE! Pick it up for your iPad from iTunes.

This publication is for those couples that want to have a healthy, happy and thriving relationship.  We cover a broad range of topics from exercise to sexual happiness, from financial help to spirituality, and everything in between.  

There is no road map to a wonderful relationship.  It takes constant work, changes and adjustments to keep your relationship well oiled and running smoothly.  This publication is designed to give you ideas and suggestions on things to help you keep your relationship growing.  Continual growth in your relationship is vital if you want it to last a long time.  

Within your relationship we encourage you to get busy, get spiritual, and laugh your ass off!  When you can do all three of these, combined with the love you have for each other, you will have a formula for a successful relationship.  You might not agree with everything we say and we don't expect you to.  However, take what works or feels right for you, implement it and leave the rest behind.

Have You Heard Sexy Challenge Heartbeats Lately?

Recent Sexy Challenge Heartbeats podcast episodes...

Listen now...

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Q and A: What To Do About Lower Sex Drive After Marriage

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Photo credit: Jessica Satherley - www.dailymail.co.uk