Monday, May 25, 2009

The Double Date

Stop for a moment. I already hear you sighing, "Not a double date". I know all the feelings you’re going through. Maybe you can't stand her friends and she wants to strangle yours, and you don't want to waste an evening listening to either one of them. You don't want to be stuck without transportation, and what if you can't agree on anything to do. Well stop whining. First of all, both of you need your friends. This is very true, and maybe they won't make the best double date candidates. It is time to find some friends that fit with your relationship. Couples that have another couple that they are close to can make a special bond that might last a lifetime. Look around there might be a couple closer then you think that you would enjoy spending time with. Look for common interests. If you have children, look for parents of your children’s friends. They most likely will be close to your age, and obviously, if they take interest in their children, you will end up at a lot of the same functions.

When you find a couple that seems to fit the bill, ask them to do something in a group setting such as having a BBQ or joining you at a friend’s party. That way you can see if you get along outside of you other realms. Find something you can pair off with them and do. At a BBQ you might play ladder ball or horse shoes with the other couple to see how they interact with you. After spending some time with them get with your partner and see what she/he thinks about them. If both of you don't agree, then start over again looking for another couple to hang with. If you both seem to like spending some time with them then maybe it is time to see if they would like to go to dinner with you or to a local bar or coffee house. Find out about each other and what your likes and dislikes are. This will help you find something else you can do together sometime.

Having another couple you can count on is a big plus. If you get to know each other well, you could even help each other out in other ways - such as, taking turns watching the kids so you can have a night out. Maybe sometime you would need their help in an emergency situation. If you don't have any family around, they could keep an eye on your house while you were on vacation. Yes, the double date is a pain sometimes, but sometimes it can lead to a great relationship that will last a lifetime.

There are some web sites out now that match couples up to do things just like the dating sites, make sure you are extra careful if you want to use one. Make sure that everyone knows what you are expecting. You don't want to be sitting with a couple of swingers asking when you are going to swap unless you’re into that. If you have a couple that you are already friends with, you are lucky because they can be a great source of help no matter what you need them for. It's like having extra family around.

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